Memories are the work of human memory. Thanks to memory and imagination, a person can mentally reproduce the events of his life. However, I do not want to remember all the moments of the past. You want to leave some negative events in the past forever. Therefore, you need to work with your memories.
It should be noted right away that you should not run away from the past, the past must be accepted and released. Any withdrawal from the problem does not solve this problem, and negative memories are no exception. Sometime something may remind of the past, and all the same feelings and emotions from which a person so diligently runs away will arise again. Working with the past means working through negative experiences and changing emotions from memories from negative to positive or even just to neutral.
External changes
External changes in a person are considered as a way to forget and let go of the past. In most cases, this method is used by people disappointed in love. It is believed that changes in hairstyle and style of dress, weight loss and healthy blush on the face will help to leave memories in the past. Some even decide to look for a new job or move.
However, sometimes this method does not work, because wherever a person goes, no matter how outwardly changes, he takes all his memories with him, and with such a heavy burden it is difficult to regain happiness. But there are advantages to this method: if in a new place a person is looking for new acquaintances, is constantly developing, spiritually growing and gaining new experience, there is simply no time left to worry about the past.
Bright new impressions
You don't even need to change your lifestyle so drastically, you can leave a lot as before, however, constantly fill your life with new impressions and emotions. In these cases, it is better to do extreme sports, charity or volunteering, to realize your creative potential, for example, remember about drawing lessons at school or about the desire to learn how to play the guitar. With such a pastime and new emotions appearing every day, there will be no time for negativity either.
Working through memories
When the realization comes that the past will not go anywhere just like that, a person begins to work with it. This can be done based on the techniques of NLP (neurolinguistic programming). In this technique, first it is better to work through one negative memory, and then you can increase the volume of the situations being worked through.
You need to imagine your life as a series of pictures. For those who use this technique for the first time, it is better to sit on a sofa or in a comfortable chair, relax and gaze at the opposite (preferably empty) wall. It is worth mentally hanging photographs on this wall with moments of life: here is a photo of how a person went to first grade, but he also returns from competitions with a diploma, and here mom and dad are proud of the child during the awarding of the best performers, then the first kiss, your best friend standing next to you, etc. Here, on the wall, you need to hang a "negative" photo, and to make it stand out from bright positive events, let it be black and white.
Do not forget about the future, and therefore it is imperative to hang the desired pictures of the future here: here is a man holding his first child or twins, here is a beautiful wedding, then a fast-paced career and the post of general director of Gazprom or "actually" a goal scored in the final of the World Cup … The main thing that the application of this technique will lead to: a negative event will be perceived as a small and imperceptible moment against the background of other life events.
Life line
This technique is similar to the previous one, but it is easier to perform, especially for those who find it difficult to tune in to the fact that photographs suddenly appear on an empty wall. True, it affects the emotional sphere less, which means that you will have to tinker with it a little longer.
In this technique, your whole life must be presented not in the form of photographs, but in the form of a line. On a piece of paper, you need to draw a line (time) and postpone the present moment approximately in the middle. And then mark at the top of this line those events of the past and future that are perceived as positive. Mark the negative event in the past by placing the ray downward from the line. The essence and purpose of the method is similar to the previous one: one negative event does not mean anything, since a person has such a positive and stormy life in
the past, and especially because such a rich and vibrant life lies ahead in the future.
Change of emotional charge
In cases where resentment, anger or other negative emotions do not go away for a long time, you need to change the negative emotional charge from the past event to a positive one. It is necessary to remember to the smallest detail what interferes with life, but remember not as it was in reality, but as if watching a movie with the inimitable Charlie Chaplin or the tight-fisted Jim Carrey. The strange gait of the characters, lively facial expressions, ridiculous postures - all this in a mental comedy should be in abundance. After that, the event from memory, of course, will not go anywhere, but if you regularly apply this technique, the memory of it will become positive.
It is important to understand that events in people's lives do not just happen, they necessarily teach something, protect from something, are needed for something. But living in the past, as one famous song says, is the first sign of old age. It is not necessary to bring something closer that will come in the end anyway. You need to live in the present and a little in the future. Only then does life make sense.
