Every woman has girlfriends. Sometimes they fall in love, and then they don't know what to do with the unexpected feeling. Therefore, they come for advice. And everything would be fine if not for … legal spouse and children. What to do in this case? What advice to give to a married friend who has managed to meet and love another?
In such a situation, both concrete advice and a categorical refusal to help will become unwanted extremes that can lead to a lot of trouble. In the first case, whatever the choice of a friend, she will still lose someone - either her husband or her lover. This means that she will have dissatisfaction with what is happening, and who will be to blame for this? Naturally, a counselor. If you just refuse to advise anything, it will look like betrayal. Left in a difficult moment, ran away … what kind of friend are you after that? Yes, the situation is difficult, but there is still a way out of it.
Advice is not only possible to give, but even necessary. The main thing is that it should be vague, as vague as possible. You can walk, as they say, around the bush: "It is necessary to think it over carefully, time will tell, you cannot rush to the final decision, how strong the feelings are." Etc. It is important not to use words such as "be patient", "do" or "do not be afraid" as this is specific advice. Instead, one should say: "Usually they are not in a hurry, first they weigh everything, and then they do it." This is harmless information about how other people most often act, and a friend can use their experience if she wants. At the same time, the counselor does not even try to get away from the conversation, wash her hands or run away. It gives a person the opportunity to think carefully about everything, to make his own decision, without taking responsibility for it.
