Human psychology must always be taken into account in communication. The ability to easily loosen the tongue of your interlocutor gives you a number of advantages. You can find out some of his secrets, understand what is important and significant for this person, and, accordingly, find out in what way you can influence him. How to succeed on the front of interpersonal relations, to achieve trust and disposition of people?
Instructions
Step 1
As you know, they are met by their clothes. Therefore, you should look, if not gorgeous, then at least neat and tidy. You should not smell of sweat, but some pleasant and light aroma (or it should not smell at all). Your sincere smile will endear the person to you.
Step 2
Do not bombard your interlocutor with direct questions "in the forehead", do not arrange interrogation. From this, a person can only withdraw into himself - this will be his natural defensive reaction to your actions.
Step 3
Start with neutral, minor questions. This will allow the other person to relax a little and feel confident talking with you. For example, ask him if he likes the weather outside the window today, how he feels, if he is tired at work today. The topics of the questions depend on the specific situation. Offer the other person to drink tea or coffee.
Step 4
To make the person relax a little more, praise him, give him a compliment. Just do it unobtrusively and carefully so that the compliment does not fall too far out of the context of the conversation. For example, when it comes to work, focus on his achievements and successes, positively assess his personal qualities as an employee.
Step 5
Make eye contact as you talk. But not with the gaze of a predatory animal looking out for the victim, but simply and friendly. If you look a person in the eye, he will understand that you have nothing to hide from him. You can tilt your head a little to the right: this non-verbal gesture is unconsciously regarded by the interlocutor as your willingness to talk openly and even help him.
Step 6
Ask the questions you are interested in in a soft tone. Check the details. Ask first what your interlocutor is willing to tell, then gradually move on to more sensitive questions. Clarify even those details that do not seem particularly interesting to you, but are interesting to the interlocutor. So he will see in you a person who shares his views, understands and approves of his position, who is interested in the same thing as he is.
Step 7
Listen carefully to your interlocutor. Nothing looses the tongue like an attentive and grateful listener. Show the person that you are listening to their thoughts, that you are absorbed in their story. Let him see in you that very desired listener. Then, imperceptibly for himself, he will tell you what he would hide with a direct question that arose in the course of an ordinary business conversation.
Step 8
Show interest. React to the words of the interlocutor with a nod of your head, small changes in facial expressions, but do not interrupt him. Show him from time to time that you listen carefully and understand. Repeat his words slightly paraphrased. Summarize what he said. For example, after his long talk about the company's financial problems, summarize: “So, for the further functioning and development of the company, you would like to purchase new devices, but your problem is that all the company's funds are in circulation, so allocate funds for the purchase devices have not yet been successful."
Step 9
Suggest your idea for solving his problem. Place your mind in his place and tell me what you would do.
Step 10
Take pauses. After the other person has finished speaking, wait a few seconds before you start speaking yourself.
Step 11
If after some question of yours the person closes down, hesitates, withdraws into himself and does not want to speak, do not press on him. Ask him why he does not want to answer this question, for what reasons this question caused him difficulties. Maybe your question causes him some unpleasant memories and sensations, maybe it makes him feel ashamed for some of his actions, or maybe the person simply cannot remember everything you ask him about.
Step 12
If the interlocutor cannot remember something, and you need to find out, use the associative method. Talk about things that are close to the topic of your question. Cause a person to have various associations (thoughts and images closely related to the question). Often, new vivid impressions or a change of scenery contribute to the recollection of something.
