People often feel uncomfortable when they have to ask others for something. At the moment of request, a person feels vulnerability and dependence. However, as soon as you change your view of the nature of the request, the sensations also change.
What prevents you from asking
Fear of asking may be the result of shame that you were unable to do something on your own. If you are an idealist or a perfectionist, it can be difficult to admit to yourself (and others) that you need help to get the job done.
If you are afraid to ask, then you are probably very much counting on a positive answer. At the same time, it seems to you that the refusal of your request will be tantamount to death.
Another obstacle to making a request to another person is the unwillingness to fall into a dependent position on him.
How to deal with the fear of asking
First, remember that every person in his life found himself in difficult situations when it was impossible to cope alone. We are very dependent on each other and poorly adapted to life without the help of other people. In the majority, in response to your request, you will find understanding, sympathy and a desire to help you.
Second, treat the request not as humiliation, but as a search for a resource. You are in a difficult situation where you lack the resources to cope on your own. And, turning to different people with a request, you are looking for, wondering: is there the necessary resource here or not? With this attitude, you do not put other people higher and yourself lower. Refusals will also be perceived less painfully: if a person refuses you, this does not mean that he is doing it to harm you; the only thing is that he does not have the resource you need, or there is so little of it that he cannot share with you. In case of failure, you can look for the same resource elsewhere: there is nothing fatal in this.
Thirdly, psychologically prepare yourself in advance: any person has the right to deny you your request. As well as you have the right to refuse another person if you cannot or do not want to give him what he asks of you. When you acknowledge your and others' right to refuse, it will be much easier for you to ask people and not ruin your relationship with them if they refuse you.
