Asking for forgiveness can be very difficult, but this skill is very helpful in life. It is relevant in family relationships, needed at work, and also will not be superfluous in communicating with friends. There are several exercises that can help you learn to apologize.
Instructions
Step 1
It is very difficult to ask for forgiveness if you think you are right, it always sounds fake. Therefore, before you apologize, you need to realize who was wrong. Almost always both are to blame for any conflict. To see this, you need to look at the situation from the outside or put yourself in the shoes of the second participant. At the same time, you will definitely find those things that were not true on your part. Apologize for them, not for everything that happens. You may not specify this in front of the person, but inside, have an idea of your guilt.
Step 2
You can learn to apologize first on paper. This is a good way to practice. Just write a letter to the person asking for forgiveness. It is better to argue everything, first tell me what he is wrong about, then write what you did wrong. At the end, talk about forgiveness. And ask him to forgive you too. Many psychologists argue that even if you do not give this letter, do not show it to anyone, the conflict will still be settled and will be quickly forgotten. All our words and thoughts reach the recipient at more subtle levels.
Step 3
Once you have learned how to write letters, it becomes less scary for you to say it out loud. Therefore, you will have to train further. First you need to try on the people you love. Start with your spouse or your parents. Next time you swear, see what you are doing wrong. Find your mistakes again, and after a quarrel, come up and ask for forgiveness. No need to fall on your knees, no need to cry and beg. It will be enough to say: "in some moments I was wrong."
Step 4
At work, you also need to learn to apologize. But here the form can be more formal. For example, you said something important to the person, but at the same time slightly raised your voice. Circumstances can be different, some nervousness can interfere with adequacy, so it is not fatal. But it’s worth apologizing, in this case it will sound like this: “Excuse me for my tone, I was tired that day. But listen to those words of mine, they were true. Again, no need to humiliate yourself, these words do not make you lower, they are only evidence of professionalism.
Step 5
The hardest thing is to apologize to children. Here it is important not to lower your authority, but also not to infringe on the rights of the child. It is important to pronounce everything calmly, without tears. Explain to the kid what happened, talk about the causes and consequences. If you raised your voice, then you are not mistaken, and why this is so - you need to tell. Be sure to say that you love the child, that you are not angry with him or with yourself. Usually, before the age of 10, people begin to look for the reasons for the irritation of adults in themselves, this must be dispelled. But remember that you don’t need to buy forgiveness, you don’t need to immediately agree to buy any toy or ice cream. It is an act of reconciliation and can take place without bribes.
