In adolescence, the guy moves away from his mother and reacts sharply to the manifestation of pity for his own person. This mechanism is necessary in order to achieve results, to go forward, and not to retreat at the first test. Pity is relaxing, but many women continue to use it.
The manifestations of love can be different. Someone knows how to talk about feelings, someone expresses everything by actions, but there are people for whom it is very difficult to show emotions. And often they can do this only by feeling sorry for someone. This is not a desire to make a man less independent, this is an easy opportunity to tell him about affection. But only this can cause great harm to the psyche of the stronger sex.
Pity is like poison
If you feel sorry for someone once, nothing bad will happen. But if you do it regularly, the changes will be global. For example, a man comes home from work tired and dissatisfied, he did not complete the project at the proper level. A woman meets him, listens and begins to regret. She emphasizes how unhappy he is, and how many demands are made on him.
At first, the man had the feeling that something needed to be completed, refined, and corrected. He understood that he would spend the next days changing. After the woman's words, his desire to improve something disappears. Pity has formed the feeling that everything is fine, and why change anything?
What happens as a result? At first nothing, the man simply considers himself more right and less striving for realization. But then it turns out that his colleagues, who worked on the shortcomings of the projects, are promoted, find a more prestigious job, and there is no change in his life. Pity stops, deprives you of the desire to be realized. And it hurts not in small doses, but in regularity, like a poison, it accumulates, and then it works overnight, there is an awareness of what happened. But it can be difficult to change something, because laziness and a feeling of being right has already formed.
Faith and pity
Taking pity on a man, a woman deprives him of the will to win. She takes him out of the fight for a better place. Both the spouse and the mother can do this. Men react in different ways, at first he may even behave aggressively, but then he will get used to it. But is it really necessary?
Pity can be replaced by other manifestations. You need to encourage, believe in him, and this only gives strength to move on. Surround him with care, create conditions for life, but each time say that he can do more, that he will definitely succeed. Help him strive for something, give him the strength to learn and develop. Do not scold if he spends his free time not watching TV, but reading books. On the contrary, start to be proud of his achievements, and he will try to achieve something else.
