Undoubtedly, kindness is the best personality trait. However, it often harms the person himself, especially if he does not expose his boundaries in relations with others. In this case, a share of healthy selfishness will come in handy.
Formation of personality
A person's character is formed under the influence of many factors. The main ones are:
- genes;
- upbringing;
- environment.
It is common knowledge that character is formed in early childhood. Having matured a little, young people often realize that they do not have the set of qualities that they would like. They are trying to change, to show themselves in a different light. This is a normal process. This is how the personality is formed.
Society, family, educational institutions and all social institutions instill in a person that he must be extremely positive. This means complete agreement with what the environment dictates. If a colleague asks to replace him at work on a weekend, the refusal can be regarded as rude. If someone borrowed money, and the person asks to return it, he may be accused of thinking only of himself.
This phenomenon reaches its climax in relations with parents. They love to make decisions for their grown children. The arguments of the matured child himself have little influence on them, if not to say that they are not perceived at all. This is where the will is required to defend your position and at the same time not offend your parents.
One must be aware of the fact that parents may not be aware that they are violating children's personal boundaries. It seems to them that they make life easier with their proposals. Indeed, they do it with the best of intentions. Therefore, you need to defend your opinion very carefully.
Types of selfishness
Selfishness is healthy and unhealthy. What you need to strive for is the first option. It is necessary for those who recognize themselves in the following circumstances:
- the inability to refuse the requests of others;
- any person from the environment can shift their responsibilities;
- can lend money and not return;
- may offend and not ask for forgiveness;
- may not respect boundaries, disregard opinion;
- there are people in the environment who are clearly manipulating;
- love relationships do not develop;
- friends or co-workers may speak taunts in the company of other people.
These phenomena indicate that a person does not know how to determine his priorities. And those around them subconsciously scan it and use it at their own discretion. The development of healthy selfishness will help to completely eradicate such phenomena from life.
Reasons to Become Selfish
People with the above problems really want to change. But they need a strong push. Usually life teaches such people various lessons, fate showered them with trials. A person may not understand the root of what is happening for a long time.
So, here are 6 reasons why you need to develop selfishness in yourself:
- Accepting your own uniqueness. You need to understand that a person is beautiful as he is, with all his shortcomings and advantages. If God created him plump, gave him short handles and a prominent nose, perhaps such a person was needed in this world. It will not be interesting at all if all people have the same appearance. You need to unconditionally accept your nature and love.
- Self-love. To love yourself is to allow yourself to have desires. Take care of yourself, allow yourself to occasionally sleep for half a day, sometimes eat several pieces of cake. Put on comfortable shoes instead of beautiful ones, periodically let down decent money to fulfill your little desires.
- Changes in life and destiny. With the development of selfishness, manipulators die. Only those who will accept the new rules of conduct with the changed person will remain. Instead of the departed, new ones will appear, but normal, adequate relations will be built with them without using each other.
- New achievements. The best careerists are avid egoists. Professional growth requires full concentration on one's own interests. Managers notice what each employee is, what he is capable of. The egoist will definitely be noticed by his boss.
- Respect for others. Some people think that they are in complete control of themselves, in fact, they are not. Man is subject only to control of his body. People read each other on a subconscious level. Those who love themselves automatically become attractive in the eyes of other people.
- Good health and nerves. Anger, resentment, aggression - such emotions are experienced by a person until he has defended his boundaries and allows others to push him around. They destroy health. But with the development of selfishness, negative feelings will appear in others. The person himself unloads his inner world from a huge amount of unnecessary emotions and thoughts, thereby preserving his health and nervous system.
Change is not a matter of one day. You need to go to them systematically and regularly. Once deciding to eliminate negative phenomena from life, you cannot stop. The inner strength of a person will help. If a lasting result is needed, then healthy selfishness must turn into a character trait.
