Every young man, during the period of courting his beloved girl, strives to look the best in her eyes. But the real character of the girl's chosen one, as a rule, is recognized only after the wedding - during the period of joint residence. It is unpleasant to admit this, but there are frequent cases when a beloved and gentle man suddenly turns into a despotic tyrant. Most women try to hide this unpleasant fact from others, but at the same time they all suffer in their souls. Every woman who finds herself in such a life situation needs to clearly understand what to do if her husband turns out to be a tyrant, how to behave with him correctly, where to look for salvation so as not to become a victim of domestic violence.
Domestic violence: types of tyrants
Who is your chosen one: a tyrant or not? Defining this is not as easy as it might seem.
Note! A tyrant man, being in a good and high spirits, can be very pleasant to talk to, sincere and welcoming person. Therefore, it is completely incomprehensible where tyranny and despotism suddenly wake up in such a seemingly sweet person. A distinctive feature of a despotic character is the desire to subdue all close people to his will by any available means.
There are three main types of manifestation of tyranny, but in its pure form, each of them is rare.
Total control. A tyrant husband of this type certainly wants to know everything, including: with whom the wife communicates and is friends, where and with whom she goes, what she does. Such a tyrant likes to constantly ask his wife: "Where have you been?" He literally controls her every step. If suddenly the spouse is delayed at work, the husband immediately begins to overwhelm her with questions. Absolutely everything that happens must be known to the tyrant spouse, otherwise he feels insecure.
An obsessive desire to humiliate a woman. Such tyrants regularly torture their wives, subject them to moral humiliation. Favorite sayings about a woman are: “Where are you without me? What can you do without me? Uneducated knot! At the same time, a man can say these insults affectionately. With the help of such derogatory statements, the tyrant tries to increase his low self-esteem. However, his main goal is to convince his wife of her stupidity and failure, that without him she would be an empty place. Psychological violence in the family destroys a person, makes him doubt his strength. As a result, the woman becomes controlled and cannot decide to break the relationship.
Physical violence, assault. Such obscene behavior of men, unfortunately, is not at all uncommon, and is the most extreme manifestation of tyranny. The main reasons for assault, as a rule, are: lack of decent upbringing, endurance and self-control, hot temper. Alcohol and drug use exacerbates the situation. Physical abuse in the family is often compounded by sexual abuse.
A tyrant who constantly spreads his hands is in reality an ordinary coward who cannot resist even a street bully. Domestic violence against a woman is the only thing he is capable of.
What actions a woman needs to take
Any woman who has become a victim of tyranny will sooner or later face a choice: to voluntarily become a slave to a tyrant or to retain her personality. If a woman decides to stay true to herself, then she needs to take the following steps:
1) Be sure to inform all relatives, friends and relatives about the antics of her husband. At the same time, the husband must know everything so that it becomes clear to him that his violence and insults will not go unpunished.
2) Tell your tyrant husband that there is a way to hold him accountable for physical and mental abuse. In this case, a woman should be prepared for the fact that strangers will be involved in order to witness insults from her husband and traces of beatings.
3) A victim of tyranny can get support by calling a nearby crisis center and talking about her husband's tyranny. You can also ask for help there.
4) Start supporting yourself. A woman who is not financially dependent on a tyrant will not tolerate humiliation. The main challenge for a woman who wants to improve her life is to gain self-esteem. Most likely, she will have to live separately with her husband for some time, however, this is complicated by the presence of children in the family. However, a woman should understand that the best way to protect herself and her children from a tyrant is to reduce all contact with him to a minimum.
Improving self-esteem
In order not to give herself offense, a woman needs to learn to love herself first of all. A truly loving and self-respecting woman believes that she deserves only the best. To do this, she needs to constantly engage in self-development: for example, to devote time to study, work or hobbies. Elimination of material and moral dependence on a tyrant husband is possible only if the woman increases her self-esteem and gains self-respect.
