In psychology, there is a "three-stage rocket" technique. He helps to express his painful thoughts and feelings to the communication partner, while not offending him. With the help of the "three-stage rocket" you show your partner the logic of your emotions and thoughts. To apply it successfully, you need to sequentially voice three parts of your message: what you see, what emotions it evokes in you, what do you think about it.
Instructions
Step 1
In any tense situation, in order to achieve mutual understanding, it is necessary to start with voicing what is objectively happening between you and your partner in communication. For example, you were discussing something emotionally, and your partner turned around and left. It is important for you to continue the conversation. The best way to do this is to voice what happened. The upside is that it's obvious to both of you. If your partner turned around and left, then it's obvious to both of you.
Step 2
The second thing you need to do is communicate your emotions. What feelings did your partner's behavior or words evoke in you? Say this by adding a second "rung" to the first one that is obvious to both of you. For example, you say, "You turned around and left, it hurt me," or "You turned around and left, and it pissed me off," or "You turned around and left, and it pissed me off." Always start from the first step. Then your partner will understand what exactly caused your negative feelings. This is the path to mutual understanding.
Step 3
The third thing you need to say is what do you think about it. Often we jump directly to this point, bypassing the first two. “You don't appreciate me! You don't care about my opinion! You don't take me into account! You forgot about me! " - we declare. At this moment, the partner is experiencing a misunderstanding: what happened and what did he do wrong? Always start with the first step, add the second to it, and after that - the third: “You turned around and left. It pissed me off! Because I think my opinion is not important to you! " Then your partner has the opportunity to answer you in detail. Perhaps your opinion is really not important to him - and this is another problem … Or maybe he abruptly left the room, because he himself could not cope with emotions, or it seemed to him that someone was knocking on the door.
