Infantilism is a common phenomenon in modern society. Paradoxically, the more demanding the modern world becomes to those who make decisions, the more clearly you can see how many infantile people are around, fleeing responsibility for making any decisions at all.
“Dodik, Dodik, go home! - Mom, can I play a little more? - No. Go home. - Mom, am I cold? - No. Would you like to eat! - this classic anecdote perfectly reflects the essence of the origins and content of infantilism.
The beautiful word "infant" is translated as "child". The word is beautiful, but life with an adult child is never cloudless and fraught with a lot of stress and disappointment. Not an infantile - by no means. With his partner, who tasted all the delights of living together.
An infantile person is an eternal child. With all the beautiful bouquet typical for children from three to five: egocentrism, narcissism, irresponsibility and hysteria. But if only the character of the classical infantiles was limited to this. Unfortunately, they are also characterized by traits inherent in adolescents of puberty: negativism, life-denial with constant self-affirmation, slight excitability and conscious isolation.
Undergrown children
“Oh, children, children! So great is their faith in motherly love that it seemed to them that they could afford to be heartless for a little more! (James Barry. Peter Pan)
Peter Pan, the hero of the good old children's fairy tale, the classic representative of an underage teenager, moreover, refusing to grow up, provoking by his actions to an inadequate reaction, selfish, often indifferent, irritable, arrogant, but requiring exceptional attention. Peter Pan is the archetype of the infantile modern personality.
As a rule, infantilism is a consequence of modern upbringing. In other historical eras, due to the family and clan structure, children were taught almost from infancy to be responsible both for their actions and for the well-being of the family. The modern way of life is undoubtedly good in that it makes our everyday life easier, but also thereby, blurs the boundaries of responsibility for survival, does not pose from childhood with the dilemma of making momentary responsible decisions on which not only well-being, but also the life of the whole family depends.
Several years ago, American anthropologist Carolina Izquierdo from the University of California published a paper in which she raised the topic of growing up by comparing archaic and modern upbringing. In this work, she described two life situations: the first - the attitude towards the upbringing of a 6-year-old child in the Peruvian Matsigenka tribe living in the Amazon, in which Carolina spent several months, the second - episodes from the life of an ordinary American family.
So, the first situation: one day, members of the tribe went on a two-day "expedition" to collect food for the entire tribe. A little girl of 6 years old asked to be taken with them. Although she did not yet have a clearly defined role in the tribal community, she became a full and useful member of the expedition: she carried sleeping mats, caught, cleaned and cooked crayfish for all members of the expedition, independently deciding to do it. She was calm, self-possessed and did not demand anything for herself personally.
The second situation from the work of an anthropologist relates to the life of an ordinary American middle-class family: an 8-year-old girl, not finding a device next to a plate of cereal, sat for ten minutes and waited for it to be served, while a 6-year-old boy tried to persuade his father to he untied his laces on his sneakers.
The main features of infantilism
Infantilism is congenital, but most often it is acquired and depends on upbringing. An adult infantile person is a disaster, first of all, for his loved ones, for his family members, if he manages to have one. But even in the sphere of industrial relations, infantile people cannot be called a gift of fate.
An infantile person usually shows emotional and volitional immaturity, he is unreliable, irresponsible and avoids making any decisions, gladly shifting responsibility to others. Infantiles are fixated on themselves and only care about their own whims and goals, although they can quite successfully hide behind beautiful phrases or even actions, but, alas, in any case, they are based on concern only for personal convenience, well-being and satisfaction of needs. As a rule, they almost always find someone who solves their problems, takes care of them and takes them under their wing.
But how charming and attractive infantiles are - these eternal children! They are as different as they are attractively beautiful, like Peter Pan and Carlson - the archetypes-representatives of infantile individuals: their element is an eternal celebration of life, where they give attention and gifts.
Something, but they not only love to have fun, but also know how like no one else, and if life were always only a holiday, then there is no better companion for this: with an infantile person, fun is guaranteed until … Before the first decision is made whether he is cold or wants there is. And if you are ready to make all subsequent decisions for him - forward, to the eternal fairy tale, in which the further, the worse.
