Sometimes the thirst for revenge appears even among very good-natured people. Resentment can make a person very angry. Before deciding on any action, think about what revenge will give you.
Understand the situation
Revenge will not do you any good. Do not expect to be satisfied after harming the person who hurt you in return. Frustration, bitterness, emptiness, and regret are what you are most likely to feel after you take revenge.
To abandon your plans, look at what happened from the other side. Of course, there is no excuse for deliberate cruelty, but you may not fully understand the situation.
Sometimes people misinterpret the actions of others. Show objectivity and calmly understand the situation. First, the person could offend you unintentionally. After all, you too have probably found yourself in a situation where you become guilty without guilt.
Second, the person might have their own motive to harm you. Then there was a clash of interests. This happens, and it is not always possible to demand a fair decision. But think, after all, by taking revenge on the offender, you can unleash a real war between you.
It is unlikely that this way of sorting out the relationship will bring something good to both parties.
Show mercy and kindness. Forgive the person from the bottom of my heart. Do it not for his sake, but for yourself. After all, keeping anger and resentment in your heart, you live in captivity of negative emotions. Your thoughts revolve around a subject that is not worth your attention.
Talk
If possible, talk to the person who hurt you. Find out the relationship, but calmly, without scandal. Explain where you think he was wrong. Have the patience to listen to the other side as well.
Maybe you can compromise and meet your needs. Agree, getting an apology and admitting a mistake is much more pleasant than making a person suffer and take the blame for the harm done to him in return.
If you don't want to date your abuser, share the problem with a friend or loved one. Speak out. Perhaps words of comfort and support will be some kind of compensation for you. Sometimes a person, having received confirmation of his innocence and seeing that the one whom he trusts is in solidarity with him, calms down.
Get distracted
It happens that there is no way to talk to a person. Then the only way to get rid of obsessive thoughts of revenge is to be distracted. Let go of the situation, switch to another object. Do something useful.
Physical activity helps to get rid of negative, destructive desires. Go to the gym and work out on the treadmill, hit a punching bag, attend a dance class, or sign up for a yoga class.
A long walk can also help you calm down.
Visualization
The following visualization method will help get rid of thoughts of revenge. Imagine in your mind how you are taking revenge on the person you hate. Think over all the details. You can take a piece of paper and pour out your negative emotions.
Present the abuser in an unsightly light or draw a caricature of him. Write a story that happened to him and made him regret his own words or actions that hurt you. If you feel relieved, tear all the leaves and forbid yourself to think about this situation.
