Every person is periodically faced with an unflattering remark about his appearance. Knowledge of the reasons for such statements will help to correctly perceive such criticism.
Unflattering assessments of the figure, hairstyle and outfit are probably more common than comments about inappropriate behavior. The fact is that to assess a person's deed, you need to understand his prehistory and the circumstances in which he was committed, to witness the situation, so that the opinion is not erroneous, is not a retelling of rumors and gossip. It is quite another matter to judge the appearance. It can be assessed at a glance.
We are talking about those cases when an aggressive reaction is caused by the style of clothing, figure and face of a person who looks after himself and does not violate social norms of behavior. Remarks about slovenly and conflicting persons from another series.
For centuries, there have been scientists who have argued that facial features can be used to determine how much a person is prone to committing crimes. They even tried to make physiognomy one of the methods of forensic science, however, it found a place only among pseudosciences. It was not possible to eradicate the tendency of the layman to accuse the owners of specific persons of impure thoughts. If we add to the assessment of physiognomy what the crowd ascribes to a certain style of clothing and the owners of a non-standard physique, then it is not clear why the courts are not overwhelmed with absurd denunciations of potential villains.
Who criticizes
Unfortunately, a person can hear unpleasant words addressed to him both from unfamiliar people and from the closest relatives. If the first ones hurt only the most sensitive and vulnerable, then a remark from someone you trust is perceived tragically even by the most ossified cynics.
Different categories will direct their anger towards different aspects of appearance:
- Relatives, as a rule, do not like the clothing style of a loved one. His appearance and figure do not cause a negative reaction due to the fact that the family has the same eating habits, attitude to physical education and the perception of his own body.
- Close friends can make the target of ridicule and derogatory comments that worries their good friend. Criticism from their side is distinguished by cruelty, confidence that the victim cannot remain indifferent.
- Colleagues and classmates independently choose, or even come up with a flaw to find fault with. Often they have to first convince a person that something is wrong with his appearance.
- If unfamiliar people make a remark about the appearance of a stranger, they do it spontaneously.
Reasons for criticism
Each of the above groups has its own reason to find fault with a person's appearance. However, there is no strict connection between the identity of the offender and the reason for his attacks. In each specific case, various psychological problems can provoke negative statements. Yes, it is psychological problems that make one person say unpleasant things to another.
Reasons for criticizing the appearance of others:
- An attempt to assert itself by humiliating another person. Aggression towards others is often caused by a desire to demonstrate one's strength, combined with an inability to behave in society and a lack of any strong qualities and developed skills.
- Feelings of loneliness. Parents, who want to see their full reflection in children, transfer the conflict of views on life to the plane of appearance and criticize external signs. Wanting to sculpt from the child what they like, their own copy, they hope to get their analogue in terms of psychological qualities and value ideals.
- Rejection of one's own appearance. The fear that others will notice a certain defect in the critic's appearance makes him switch the hatred of those around him to a stranger in advance. Often, the reason for bullying is precisely the quality that is considered to be its own flaw.
- Entertainment. Poorly mannered people take pleasure in discussing the appearance of others. Asocial groups can persecute someone for no reason, just to pass the time.
- Division into friends and foes. It is possible to unite a group not only by a common cause, but also by fighting an insidious enemy. If there is none, then it must be assigned. Any external difference from the majority of the group members can serve as an indicator of hostility.
How to deal with criticism of appearance
The reason for negative statements in your address is the personal psychological problems of the one who undertook to discuss your appearance. Knowing this, you should not succumb to provocation and change something in order to be accepted. Not the best option would be to change the image as a sign of protest. Such actions will provoke an even more aggressive flurry of criticism. The easiest way to distract from your problems is by creating them for others.
This does not mean at all that you cannot change anything in your appearance. Experiment with styles based on your aesthetic preferences. If we are talking about the need to acquire a sports figure, then a person should be himself interested in changes.
