Listening is one of the most important communication skills not only for psychologists, but also for people of all professions, as well as in everyday life. Listening carefully to the interlocutor is not at all as easy as it seems, because most people during a conversation think about something else, look at the phone screen or interrupt, imposing their opinion.
Why Active Listening?
Many people interrupt the interlocutor to prove that he is wrong and to express their point of view. But the interlocutor will not want to open his soul anymore if he sees that his opinion is not important.
Sometimes it is worth listening to another person, delving into the meaning of his words, understanding what he is thinking. After all, we already know our opinion, we can take into account someone else's. Who knows, suddenly it will be useful for us too. In addition, a person who really knows how to listen and owns the skills of empathy attracts people to him.
How do you learn to listen?
There are 5 components without which active listening is impossible.
Put aside phones, books, tablets and focus on the other person. Think about him and not about something else. Make the other person the central object of your consciousness, look directly at him. It is very important not only to be aware of the interlocutor's words, but also to notice his facial expressions, pantomime, gestures, intonations. Hundreds of articles and books have been written about non-verbal speech, where each of these points is written in detail.
Nod, smile where necessary, repeat the expression on your interlocutor's face. Let the other person notice that your attention is directed to them. Encourage the person to continue the conversation. When a person realizes that you not only hear him, but also want to continue the conversation, he will express thoughts more willingly and openly.
It is important for the interlocutor that his opinion is understood from all sides. Ask clarifying questions: “I understand that … (paraphrased thought of the interlocutor). Do you mean that? . It is very effective to repeat the last few words of the interlocutor, as well as to periodically summarize what was said.
While the person is speaking, do not interrupt. Let him give his opinion. In addition, critical thoughts should be avoided temporarily. If you start thinking about how the other person is wrong and how you would say it, you will stop listening to him and get busy with your own thoughts. Try to put yourself in his place, consider the situation from his point of view.
If your opinion does not coincide with the opinion of the interlocutor, express it with respect to the other's point of view. There should be no rude, harsh statements that refute the opinion of the interlocutor.
