It happens that a loved one causes mental pain. It is very difficult to accept this situation. In such cases, we break off relations or live on the defensive, remembering the insult, bearing far from bright thoughts and feelings. Are there any ways to help yourself with this?
There are many ways to forgive. You can repeat the words of forgiveness many times using special formulas. Someone is more suited to another way, when you need to take a large notebook and write the words of forgiveness hundreds of times. There is also a whole class of methods for working with their states, in which the image is used. There are ways of working with resentment, in which it is proposed to consider resentment as a part of ourselves, a part of our personality that arose in a certain period of time. Let's consider one of these methods.
Representing resentment
If you have a strong grudge against a certain person, and you cannot forgive, I ask you to imagine how this grudge would look like some kind of being. It is enough to remember about it, and the imagination will recreate some of its characteristics. For example, color, size, consistency, shape, etc. Remembering the offense and attuning your attention to it, you can see the mental image and begin to contact with it.
Establishing contact with resentment
Place the image of resentment at some distance from you. Usually severe conditions and presented accordingly. Often these are unpleasant clots of various shapes, a lead cloud, etc. The heavier the feeling, the more negative the image will be. However, you should not be afraid of him. In fact, this is one of our parts that could not express itself, and therefore found itself in such a painful state. Say hello to this part as a person. Tell him that you are ready to understand him and try to help. See how it reacts. Maybe the color or shape will change?
Dealing with resentment
Now talk one-on-one with resentment about what happened. You know what happened. Tell your grievance about the situation itself, and all your feelings, about who took part in it. Tell us how the situation arose, how it developed, how it ended. By telling your grievance about this, you are, in fact, simply establishing contact with those negative feelings that have arisen in a difficult situation with a certain person. Watch the image, perhaps it will change some of its characteristics. This will be a good sign.
You can also use other techniques for working with the image. For example, look at him and try to experience him as a different person. What does he want? Is it good or bad for him? If bad, why? Communicate with him and tell him about his feelings. For example, you see that he is filled with irritation. Tell him, "You are filled with irritation." And keep watching. Ask further: "To whom is it directed?", "How can you express it?"
Completion of work
If you can really work through, express and free yourself from negative feelings, the image begins to change. It becomes lighter, more harmonious. Its form and content are changing. He no longer expresses so much pain and despair. If you are observing these transformations, you are on the right track. If the situation is very complex and confusing, it may take some time for such work, it may be necessary to repeat the procedure more than once, realizing and releasing your suppressed feelings. In particularly difficult and incomprehensible cases, the help of a specialist may be required.
