Unpleasant events that could happen to a person in childhood can cause the appearance of psychotrauma, which affects the rest of his life. Experts say that many psychological traumas can affect the brain function that is responsible for adapting to stress. Unfortunately, a child often gets psychotrauma in his own family, thanks to the chosen style of upbringing.
Some believe that there is nothing wrong with the fact that in childhood a child suffered a number of negative events, which, allegedly, only strengthened his spirit and contributed to the formation of character. Traumatic events do not always make a person stronger, it happens quite the opposite.
A person with an early childhood trauma constantly returns to similar events, reliving them in the present moment.
For example, if a child was often physically punished, in the depths of his soul he retained a serious grudge against all relatives and friends involved in his punishment. As a result, the adult can enter into a relationship with a partner who will bully him and use the same physical abuse that the child suffered as a child. An attitude is formed subconsciously that to endure punishment, brute physical force and at the same time harbor resentment in oneself is the norm of behavior.
Sometimes the model of behavior used by the parents or one of the parents can be adopted and applied in adult life in relation to their own children. "If I was punished and beaten, then I will also punish and beat."
The resulting injury creates constant tension in the body. The person will be in a state of anxiety and inability to relax. If physical violence against a child was used constantly, then in adulthood a person begins to live in the role of an aggressor or victim.
The victim will never be able to stand up for himself, will not be able to adequately assess the situation in which it is necessary to respond to aggression, humiliation or insult.
The aggressor will always find those on whom to vent anger, will offend the weak, mock those who cannot resist him, and enter into conflicts with the use of physical force.
There is another form of upbringing that leads to psychotrauma, when parents completely devalue the child himself and all his actions, try to humiliate, offend, use a latent form of aggression, call names or come up with evil, playful nicknames.
For example, if a child does not study well, does not clean the room, does not help around the house, instead of helping and teaching him to do something and do his homework in order to get good knowledge, he hears from his parents: “Nobody needs you! "," You are mediocrity, insignificance! "," Who are you (such) ugly? "," You have not hands, but hooks "and similar statements. Devaluation also occurs at the moment when the child runs to his parents, showing his creativity (drawing, handicraft, plasticine figurine), instead of praise, he hears something completely different: "I would rather do something useful", "It would be better if I helped my mother to wash the floors."
An additional form of depreciation is an attempt to defuse and resolve their internal conflicts through the child. In this case, the child is not perceived as a person, but is used as a "whipping boy" to relieve his own tension.
Children in such families very often grow up with excellent pupil syndrome. It is infinitely important for them to do everything better than others. And the main goal is for their parents to finally love them.
You can cope with problems on your own, but this will require a person to work on themselves and their beliefs for a long time. Specialists working with psychological trauma of childhood can help in this.
