One of the most embarrassing mistakes you can make is living someone else's life instead of yours. In the end, there is only one life, and spending it entirely on another person, although honorable, is quite insulting.
Instructions
Step 1
To begin with, it is worth deciding what exactly is meant by living someone else's life. As a rule, this is a deep participation in the fate of a loved one, making important decisions for him, constant support and assistance in solving problems. It would seem that there is nothing wrong with that. But in fact, this course of action leads to two unpleasant effects. Firstly, your object loses the ability to be independent, and secondly, you are spending your by no means endless time not on yourself, but on someone else. Of course, this is the easiest way to solve the problems of a person, to whose fate you are not indifferent, but far from the most correct one.
Step 2
It's easy to start living someone else's life. Put your interests below others several times, and you're done! Skipping an important meeting for a therapeutic conversation with a sad comrade, taking a vacation to help a friend with a repair, taking time off from work, and helping an ex-girlfriend move the sofa - there are many options, but the result is the same. You will begin to experience genuine pleasure not even from someone else's gratitude, but from the realization of the nobility and beauty of your actions. The trouble is that by doing so you are likely to ruin your own life, career, plans.
Step 3
Learn to refuse. Saying no is very difficult at first, but you need to learn how to do it. Think about how much of your time you spent on the problems of others, not because you needed it, but simply because of the inability to refuse. As a rule, active participation in other people's lives is associated with low self-esteem, a need depending on you. If this is true for you, try to find other ways to improve your self-image. For example, make a successful career, win a competition, write a book - in general, do something for yourself.
Step 4
By the way, self-improvement, paradoxically, is the best way not only to live your own life, but to help others. Give them the opportunity to understand that you are no different from them, and in their power to achieve the same success as you. Perhaps they will turn to you for advice, but this will be a completely different help: not meaningless participation in unsuccessful deeds, but support on the path of improvement. In order to be able to help and advise, you must be better than those you help. More successful, richer, more educated, happier, because otherwise it is not help, but a crime against oneself.
