When we start to grow up and assert ourselves, it is so sweet to say "no!" to the parents' requests. Denial leaves our lips without coercion, naturally, in spite of the will of adults. Why, then, when we grow up, become independent and are responsible for our words and deeds, is it harder and harder for us to speak negatively, even to unfamiliar people?
Life in society forces us to find common ground with a variety of people, make compromises, forgive. By refusal, we are afraid of offending someone. But all the same, stepping on the throat of your own song and causing yourself inconvenience for the benefit of your friends is not worth it, and often it is completely just stupid.
For example, at work you already have a blockage, and your colleague-friend whines for you to complete the project for him, since he has force majeure: a child is ill, a tooth is broken, or guests have arrived. Or a friend tearfully asks you to let him take your car for a couple of hours to pick up your mother-in-law from the station at night, since his car is being repaired. But you never know such cases when reluctantly you agree, although your gut screams "no". Don't let others take advantage of your reliability!
Learning to clearly express your position, not to give unnecessary reasons for hope is easier than it seems. Moreover, it will become easier both for you and for those around you.
Tip 1. If you are uncomfortable with fulfilling someone's request, say “no” immediately, and do not give hope with the phrases “we'll see”, “maybe”, “maybe”, etc. Be sure to explain the reason for the refusal. Moreover, it is better not to invent excuses, your petitioner will easily hear the falsity. If your friend asks for a rubber boat for fishing, and you remember from the last time that he returned it to you unfinished, then say bluntly that you have to refuse, because you do not like his careless attitude to other people's things.
Tip 2. Try to offer an alternative solution, or together try to find a mutual way out of the situation. Did a cousin from another city call you, confronting the fact that she is coming to your city for a week and intends to live in your "odnushka"? And you don't really like her even without living together. Tell her right away that she will embarrass you, offer an option with a dacha or a hostel, to which you can take her and help with everything she needs.
Tip 3: If you still offend the person with a refusal, then try to honestly talk about your feelings and motivations, that you are not obliged to do what you do not like and give you discomfort. Surely, your opponent will understand the situation.
You really need to be able to say "no". It can be difficult at times. But do not infringe on yourself so as not to offend someone.
