How often resentment poisons our lives, it is incomprehensible to the mind! It transforms our life into a lonely existence in a gloomy house with boarded up windows and doors. We feel like a victim. It's so familiar. This is so familiar. How to stop feeling like a victim and get rid of resentment?
In fact, resentment is a tool for manipulating other people by cultivating feelings of guilt in them. “I am offended - dance around me. Do what I please so that I forgive you. But in some people, guilt just doesn't grow. Some people are not interested in pleasing us. And for someone we spoil life, using their weaknesses and complexes. We are a “victim” with despotic tendencies.
Nobody can offend us. It is not subject to any person. We can only take offense ourselves. We can cause some kind of moral or physical damage, but we give the emotional coloring to this ourselves. For what are we offended? For the offender to realize all the pain that has been inflicted on us. But being offended, we close, thereby blocking access to the information that we want to share on an emotional level.
Resentment doesn't solve the problem. Resentment is an attempt to get away from her. But the problems don't go away. They snowball until they turn into an avalanche and cover us headlong.
To stop being offended, you need to get out of the offended state and start responding adequately to what is happening. If you are harmed, you can, in different ways:
- understand the behavior of the offender,
- forgive,
- explain your feelings to the offender so that this does not happen again in the future,
- reply in kind.
And then - just forget. Offended, you rush about with this condition like a chicken and an egg, and are afraid of responsibility and determination to respond to the damage caused. Stop being afraid. You yourself are responsible for your life, and she expects active action from you.
