Psychologists have long wondered why some people are happy and others are not. Experiments and research have shown that, contrary to popular misconception, the circumstances in which a person finds himself do not greatly affect his state of mind. It turns out that the feeling of happiness depends only on the person himself.
Dependence on someone else's opinion
Probably the very first thing that distinguishes a happy person from an unhappy person is the tendency to be guided by the opinions of others. When a person recognizes his inner voice and his own inclinations as insignificant factors, if he is guided in everything by what authoritative people say or dictates public opinion, then this, naturally, makes him unhappy. You can't live up to someone else's standards, no matter how hard you try. As Oscar Wilde said, you need to be yourself, because other places are already taken.
Understanding this moment is characteristic of happy people. They build their lives according to their own needs and do what they see fit. This does not mean a lack of the ability to compromise, it just speaks of how a happy person sets goals for himself.
Perfectionism
Yes, oddly enough, but perfectionism does not contribute to the achievement of happiness. It would seem, do your job as best you can, will it bring satisfaction? But no matter what a person does, he will never find it good enough. In fact, the perfectionist does not understand that there is no place for complete perfection in the real world. He is closer to the dreamer than to the realist. Empty dreams that do not come true make such a person unhappy.
Happy people look at everything more rationally. They understand that the solution to each task implies a number of requirements for the quality of execution. It is important to correspond to them, and if you do it a little better, then you will be known as an excellent specialist. You can't jump over your head. When a person understands this, his successes bring him joy.
Negative thinking
This is a very important factor. When a person is determined to see only the bad around him, he simply will not notice the happy opportunities that life gives him. Sad thoughts have not improved anyone's life yet. A person becomes unhappy, moreover, it becomes a habit for him.
Happy people are different. They enjoy every little thing. Everywhere they see good opportunities and favorable circumstances, even in failures and failures. Any failure, in their opinion, is an opportunity to learn something and do it right next time.
Problems and solutions
Unhappy people think about their difficulties. They are ready to enumerate life's troubles for hours, from time to time asking: why did all these misfortunes fall on them? Happy people think differently. They see the problem and instead of whining, they think about how to solve it. Moreover, after a solution has been found, such a person will do whatever is necessary to implement it.
If you find any signs of an unhappy person in yourself, there is no need to be upset. Think about how to fix this problem right now. You can go from the camp of losers to the lucky ones at any time, and it only depends on what is in your head.
