Resentment is a natural emotion that works as a defensive reaction of the psyche to unexpected difficulties. However, over time, this feeling can develop into aggression or even a feeling of revenge. In order not to lose mental balance, there are several ways to deal with resentment.
According to statistics, all people are offended at least once in their life. However, each person suffers resentment differently. Why is this happening? A person has certain "sore spots", touching which, it is very easy to offend him. Some people have fewer such places, others have more, hence the varying degrees of resentment arising. There are also cases when a person does not seem to be offended at all, although he simply accumulates everything somewhere deep in his soul.
Why people get offended: the main reasons
The most common reason for resentment is simple calculation. A person pretends to be offended in order to derive some benefit from his interlocutor. At the same time, it is not at all necessary to feel resentment, it is enough to pretend. This method is more often used by girls to get what they want from a man.
The next reason is a banal inability or unwillingness to forgive. In this case, the offended person himself may not know what exactly he was offended - the fact itself and the subsequent apologies are important to him.
Another reason for resentment can be unjustified expectations. For example, a person is fully confident that after today's interview he will definitely be hired, but he has not been called back. Or a girl on her birthday wants to receive a long-awaited ring as a gift from her boyfriend, with whom they have been living together for more than four years, and gets a romantic vacation by the sea.
What to do
1. Analyze the situation: it is quite possible that the interlocutor simply does not suspect that his words could offend someone. In this case, you need to put yourself in his place and understand whether this person could realize, saying these very words, that he could hurt your feelings.
2. Always extract what is useful for yourself from any situation. Perhaps the interlocutor pointed out your shortcomings, which do exist. He can be thanked for saying this to his face, and not spreading rumors behind his back.
3. It is useless to be offended that the person did not live up to your expectations. No one knows how to read minds and unmistakably guess the desires of another. It is much more effective, for example, to simply ask the husband to throw out the trash, and the mother-in-law to sit with the child, than to wait that they figure it out themselves, and then also be offended that this did not happen.
The harm of resentment
It has been proven that this emotion causes many diseases, for example, cancer or cirrhosis of the liver in a completely non-drinking person, constant migraines and insomnia, not to mention the lack of mental balance. It is worth thinking about what is really more expensive: pride and hurt feelings or your own health?
