Resentment is an explosive cocktail of anger, pity and unfulfilled hopes. The offended person gradually destroys himself from the inside, replaying the situation in his head that has become the cause of disappointment.
Why do people get offended?
Resentment is a feeling that absorbs a person from the inside. It is based on unjustified expectations, self-pity, and anger at the offender who committed unfair actions. People can take offense at anything they want, reproaching the "villainous fate", others and even themselves.
Psychologists say that this feeling comes from childhood - a child suffering from a lack of communication with family or friends begins to take offense, thus, trying to provoke a reaction from others. The same can be said about unsuccessful attempts at self-affirmation, for example, adults did not appreciate the efforts of the baby, did not praise him in time, etc. The child is offended in order to change the course of events, to draw attention to himself.
In the mind of a mature person, resentment arises in response to an insult, grief, ridicule, negative feedback, ignoring a request, as well as causing pain - physical or mental. Taking offense, a person wants to change the attitude towards him, for example, to take more into account his opinion and desires, to show more attention. Often, people never openly admit this, preferring to demonstrate resentment in a non-verbal way: with a look, unwillingness to talk to the offender or even see him.
Why is it harmful to be offended?
In fact, resentment is deeply repressed anger, in fact, directed inward and not outward, so it is very destructive. With the help of icy silence and a contemptuous glance, the offended person tries to “punish” his offender so that he understands that he was wrong and repents.
However, repeatedly replaying the situation in his head that caused pain, the "victim", first of all, punishes himself. It would seem that resentment protects our self-esteem, but this is a sham. It increases irritability, spoils the mood, makes you look at the world in black and white. Moreover, this painful feeling often interferes with rational thinking and making the right decisions.
If resentment is not stopped in time, she can become the progenitor of such feelings as vindictiveness and hatred. Some medical professionals argue that chronic grievances can lead to serious, devastating diseases such as liver cancer and cirrhosis. Forgiveness can be the deliverance from this oppressive affliction. Forgiving his offender, the “victim” gains freedom.
