Very often, a conflict begins due to the fact that an unfounded claim or accusation is expressed to you. This can happen at work, in the family, in transport, when communicating with friends or acquaintances, and in general, a conflict can arise just out of the blue. I sincerely hope that following my instructions, you will come out with honor from any conflict situation.
Instructions
Step 1
To begin with, practice the skill of never making excuses or asking people counter questions. For example, if your opponent or conflict person tells you: “You are treating our clients badly”! What is your first and unconscious reaction? That's right, you may ask: "why did you decide that"? or "why did you think so"? After that, the conflict person will publicly prove to you why you are doing this, and will give the appropriate arguments and facts.
Summary: in a conflict situation, never make excuses, do not ask counter questions and immediately proceed to the first stage of your counterattack!
Step 2
It is necessary to counterattack immediately, not allowing the opponent to come to his senses. However, determine the direction of the attack not on the personality of the conflicting person, but on his statements, paraphrasing the latter exactly the opposite. For example:
Conflict: "You are bad about your duties!"
You: "This is a superficial and I would say an amateurish statement"!
Thus, by means of a counter-affirmation (and not a question), we destroy a conflict attack at the very beginning, as, for example, you swat a mosquito that has not yet managed to sting you.
The next stage is aimed at consolidating its dominant position in the conflict. Again, we speak at once, not letting the opponent insert a word. Let's expand our dialogue:
Conflict: "You are bad about your duties!"
You: “This is a superficial and I would say an amateurish statement! In fact, I take my duties extremely responsibly, and I always do my work correctly and efficiently”!
Summary: Never explain anything to the aggressor, and instead of making excuses, formulate a confident statement that is the opposite of the statement of the conflicting person.
Step 3
Now we proceed to the main stage of the counterattack. Launch a whole set of arguments on the aggressor to prove your case. Let's get back to the dialogue:
Conflict: "You are bad about your duties!"
You: “This is a superficial and I would say an amateurish statement! In fact, I take my duties extremely responsibly, and I always do my work correctly and efficiently! This is evidenced by the following facts:
1. This month, I have been rewarded many times by management for excellent work.
2. I regularly fulfill and overfulfill my personal plan.
3. Leaders set me up as an example to other employees and so on …
Summary: you need to clearly remember or have at hand facts confirming your positive qualities or merits.
Step 4
And the last stage - we emphasize the incompetence or immaturity of the opponent, indirectly classifying him as people with limited knowledge and carriers of malicious intent. Let's get back with the dialogue:
Conflict: "You are bad about your duties!"
You: “This is a superficial and I would say an amateurish statement! In fact, I take my duties extremely responsibly, and I always do my work correctly and efficiently! This is evidenced by the following facts:
1. This month, I have been rewarded many times by management for excellent work.
2. I regularly fulfill and overfulfill my personal plan.
3. Leaders set me up as an example to other employees and so on …"
Again you: “I was always amazed and amused at the same time by people who make such stupid, peremptory and amateurish statements. A reasonable person would rather provide a rationale rather than stoop to such a cheap provocation. And why do people like to show their incompetence so much ?!"
Summary: Be sure to do the third, finishing blow! After 10 seconds, the conflicted person will forever be discouraged from doing business with you.
