It used to be thought that it was natural to listen to the words of elders. Now, many believe that the advice given by relatives, friends, colleagues at work is a violation of personal boundaries. Many people take any recommendations and words at once with hostility. However, there are no fewer people willing to give advice to the right and to the left. Why is this happening?
Do not think that everyone who sees that you have a problem wants to immediately "get into your soul" and give exclusively correct advice, thereby violating your personal space. How should you treat the advice of others? And why not immediately see the enemy in front of you?
Useful Tips
Some people do have a lot of experience with situations that you may have faced in life. Friends, work colleagues, relatives, perhaps, really sincerely want to help you find a solution to the problem. And, giving examples from their own experience, they give advice on how best to solve the situation that has arisen.
Quite often, such recommendations can really be very useful. By listening to them, you can find the right solution. If the problem concerns an area where you are not very competent, then advice from a person who knows a little more than you will sometimes even help in a seemingly hopeless situation. To do this, you just need to learn to listen and hear, to be more flexible in communicating with other people.
To attract attention
Sometimes a person is not going to give you advice, he just wants to get to know each other better and attract your attention. In order to do this, someone may come up to you at work or while exercising in the gym, on the playground where you are walking your dog. And instead of making a normal acquaintance, he gives advice on how to do something better, behave, and so on. You should not immediately rebuff the person and say that you yourself know everything. Take a closer look. Maybe it was your destiny that sent you towards the one you have long dreamed of.
Forced advice
If you constantly complain to relatives or friends about your life, talk about how hard it is for you now, what a bad husband or a terrible wife, children are naughty and no one in this world loves or understands you in general, perhaps your friend or loved one is awful tired of your whining. Therefore, at some point, he decided that it was time to give good advice and end the conversation about the "hard life" forever. It just became unbearable for him that you are constantly pouring your negativity onto him.
It is up to you to accept his advice or not. It is important to understand that the person is tired of your problems and wants to genuinely help you solve them.
If you need the interlocutor to listen to the story of your life and this is where the communication ends, then warn about this in advance. Then you will not feel that someone is interfering in your life and giving advice.
Bad advice
If a person is not going to help you, but at the same time says that he knows better how to do it, because he lives longer in this world, has been working here for a long time, older than you, smarter than you, occupies a higher position, etc., then, rather all, in front of you is a person who is important to elevate himself in the eyes of others.
You can not listen to such advice, most often they do not bring benefits. If such advice only irritates you, then it is better to limit communication with such people. Or pretend that you agree, thank for the advice, but do everything as you see fit.
If someone constantly criticizes you, belittles your knowledge, skills and capabilities, then you have a person who definitely does not want everything to be good in your life. The main thing for him is that you experience negative emotions, get upset and make a mistake. When you feel bad, he feels good.
There are situations when your friend, acquaintance or relative is simply jealous of you. Therefore, it is important for him to give you “bad advice”. If you use it or doubt the correctness of your actions, he will be in seventh heaven with happiness, because in his life he is not able to change anything.
If you are going to change jobs, get married or get married, buy an apartment or a car, start a healthy lifestyle, have a child, then it is better to make your informed decision. And do not pay attention to the advice of those who clearly do not want your happiness, success, prosperity.
