Mistakes in people have a negative impact on both business and family life. At first glance, a charming person may turn out to be unreliable, and a relationship with him - both romantic and business - can lead to great losses, both moral and material. How to recognize an untrustworthy person and avoid problems?
What is a reliable person
A reliable person, friend or partner - one who will not deceive your trust, will not give up in difficult times, will share joy and sorrow with you. He will fulfill the promises made to you, he will not promise what he cannot do, he will not throw words to the wind, he will not let him down and will not substitute, and in unfavorable circumstances he will help to get out of an unpleasant situation, sharing responsibility with you. In other words, such a person will not disappoint your hopes. A reliable person is a great blessing, whether it is related to personal life or business matters. An unreliable partner, on the other hand, is the source of many problems and frustrations. How to tell a reliable person from an unreliable person?
First impression rule
The first impression is the most correct, psychologists say. At the same time, unreliable people try to do everything to make the most favorable impression exactly at the first meeting. There is an opinion that people know everything about each other, only they cannot quickly transfer this information from the subconscious to the conscious plane of thinking. You should trust your intuition.
If you feel the slightest discomfort, try to understand why it happened, what exactly in the interlocutor's behavior seemed awkward to you. Perhaps he is too kind, flattering? Or is there a clear sexual challenge in his behavior? If we are talking about a romantic acquaintance, this is quite natural. But if we are talking about a joint business, deal, business or project, this suggests that they are trying to "hook you", use, and your counterpart is not thinking about what he says aloud.
How unreliable people pretend to be
Despite the fact that an unreliable, but interested person in you is trying his best to make the most favorable impression, there is a whole system of subtle signals that gives him out headlong because he is internally insecure. Take a closer look, observe it, and you will discover a lot of interesting details that you cannot hide. Insecurity, as they say, is visible to the naked eye, and it is not so difficult to "see through" an unreliable person, the main thing is to honestly admit to yourself what you see.
- Pay attention to the eyes of the interlocutor, catch his gaze. An unreliable person will try to look away, look around, or look down.
- Another feature of the gaze of an unreliable person: while talking about important things, he can withstand your gaze, but look as if "through" you, into emptiness. This speaks of a stronger character, but instead of openness, this habit of looking "through" the interlocutor hides impudence, and even cynicism.
- Pay attention to how the dialogue takes place. Do you get the impression that the interlocutor does not see or hear you, expounding his point of view? Is he trying to make an impression as if he is admiring himself and is extremely preoccupied with the impression he makes? This speaks of insecurity, you have a narcissistic egoist in front of you, and it is unlikely that your problems will ever make him want to solve them together.
- Listen carefully during the conversation to what and how the person is saying. Perhaps you felt that something was not being said to you within the framework of the topic that is being discussed? Your specific questions remained unanswered, and the interlocutor turned the conversation to another topic? It seems that this person wants to hide something from you, which means there are serious reasons to doubt his reliability.
- Pay attention to the intonation with which the interlocutor is talking to you. Subtle humiliation, awkward words that make you embarrassed, polite taunts, unkind irony - all this suggests that a person has a "double bottom", and you have reason to doubt that his attitude towards you is kind and sincere.
- Watch his emotions. Maybe exaggerated optimism and too bright prospects are an attempt to lure you into a trap, to drag you into a relationship that will later become a source of problems for you? Is your interlocutor promising too much? Interrupts you? Take your time to take his word for it. Anything that looks "too much" should alert you, as it indicates a probable attempt to "catch" you on your weaknesses and manipulate you. People say about it: "Lay softly, but hard to sleep"
- The opposite option: the interlocutor protects himself in advance from possible expectations and illusions about him. He refers to some hidden circumstances over which he has no control, says that little depends on him, hints that one should not expect more from him than he can do. Most likely, in front of you is an indifferent person, with a whole heap of unpleasant secrets, and he will not fulfill even the smallest promises.
What says that there is a reliable person in front of you
- A reliable person will not hide his eyes, he will answer you with a confident open look, full of sincere interest.
- In a conversation, he will be interested in your circumstances, and in a conversation about some joint business, he will be like a person who solves an addition problem in his mind. And this is not surprising, since a joint business for him is a reality, and he will figure out how you can be useful to a friend.
- When describing a project or drawing perspectives of a joint future, a reliable person expresses itself very simply, looks practical. The situation in his description looks clear, precise and specific. Reliable people are realistic, they don't need to try to make a personal impression on you, since this is not the main thing for them. Such people will not include "charm", seduce, flirt in order to win your attention to their person, since the main thing for them is still the joint business in question.
- A reliable person will not miss a single question, will not miss a single nuance, because it is important for him that you clearly imagine a situation that can become common for you.
- When talking about a joint business or romantic prospects, a reliable person will not allow malice, will not try to offend or subtly humiliate you. On the contrary, he will be extremely polite, benevolent, sincere. Sincerity is what can be felt as unaccountable trust in the interlocutor.
- A reliable person will not interrupt you, but, on the contrary, will listen to everything you want to say, since in a relationship, reliable people see first of all - a partner, and are interested in positive results not only for themselves, but also for you. In other words, a reliable partner will make sure that a common cause or a joint future suits both of you.
Reliability must be mutual
A reliable person is a quality of character. It is said that people with common traits and attitudes towards life are attracted to each other. Take a close look at yourself. Are you delivering on your promises? Are you able not to back down from your partner in difficult times and share the responsibility? Are you honestly admitting mistakes you have made or are you looking for an opportunity to blame someone else? Are you ready to be responsible for your words and deeds, to fulfill your obligations?
All this is very important. Because reliability in a relationship should be mutual. After all, a reliable person, faced with irresponsibility, unpredictability, cunning and unreliability, most likely will not give up what he started, but upon completion he simply does not want to have any more business with an unreliable partner. That's the way they are, reliable people.
