The ability to find solutions that are beneficial to both parties will always come in handy in your personal life and in business. The main thing is to understand the essence of the compromise. Compromise is the resolution of a situation in which the interests of two people or groups intersect, through mutual concessions. Pay attention to the word "mutual"!
In any disputable situation, ask yourself the question: "What is more important for you: to win the dispute or to keep the relationship?"
Speak softly and calmly, but with confident intonation. You don't need to raise your voice, but you can't mumble either. Don't threaten or blackmail your opponent. Threats will anger your interlocutor and constructive dialogue will no longer work.
In the art of compromise, two extremes should be avoided: excessive compliance and total intransigence. 1) Constantly adjusting to the desires of others, we dig a hole for ourselves, into which sooner or later we will fall. Do not forget that everything has its own boundaries, including moral principles, which are highly undesirable to cross. 2) On the contrary, if you are extremely stubborn and do not move by a millimeter from the decision, people will begin to avoid you.
Both of these extremes carry a sign of self-doubt, which we try to compensate with our behavior. Be sure to work on your self-esteem. Only by respecting yourself will you respect others as well.
Do not strive for a "complete victory". If your opponent does everything “your way,” he will surely harbor a grudge against you. Make sure to give something in return so that both of you can feel like a winner.
When looking for a compromise, you need to think more not about your own interests, but about the interests of your opponent. What can you do to satisfy them? What can you offer in return? What are the alternatives? What is the ultimate goal of the person you are trying to negotiate with?
Don't forget about your own goal. Try to separate the wheat from the chaff. What is really important to you and what are you willing to sacrifice for the common good.
For example, you want to go to the theater tonight, and your boyfriend is going to watch a football match with your favorite team. The situation is not the most difficult, but it is very common. Let's complicate it by the fact that you want to spend this one together. Take the initiative to find a compromise in your own hands. Offer to peacefully discuss the controversial issue and come to a mutual solution.
1) Give your point of view, explain your position:
- This is a very strong performance that you have long dreamed of getting to
- You have already bought tickets
- Football can be watched in the recording, but the performance - not
2) Listen to your opponent's point of view. In our example, this could be:
- This match is decisive, and he wants to know the results live
- He agreed to watch football with friends
- He doesn't really like theater, and football is "our everything"
3) Discuss what concessions you are willing to make and listen to your opponent's suggestion. Let's say a young man finds a way to return or exchange tickets and promises to go to the theater with you next weekend. And you can offer him a way to "harmlessly" cancel a meeting with friends and follow the result of the match online or watch a part of it during the intermission.
4) If you managed to agree on one of the options, then that's great. If not, then you can use the third option - everyone will do what he wanted to do, and the meeting will be postponed to another day. You will find yourself a companion or companion for your cult trip, and the young man will enjoy the match. It's better than being together and sulking at each other.
