Shame is a feeling that almost everyone can experience under certain circumstances. Some are ashamed of being talented, others successful, but the worst thing is when a person is ashamed of their actions or success.
Religions claim that shame is a beneficial feeling. It allows you not to violate social norms, preserves the soul of a person. But shame puts too much pressure on some and hardly affects others. Yet it is only an emotion and can be controlled.
Shame for what you did
It happens that a person has done something for which he is ashamed. This is a common situation, and although you want to hide, do not think that only you were in such circumstances. If there is an opportunity to fix something, do it. A good way is to apologize to those present if you have done something wrong. If you just seem ridiculous, then make it a joke.
You don't need to stop communicating with people who witnessed what happened. Better to explain to them that you feel that you are unpleasant. Most people you know are able to understand what happened. It is only important to convey your vision.
It is very good practice to look at the event from a different angle. If everything seems terrible to you, try to see how it looks from the side of others. There are always several points of view. Pick one that is less painful and stick with it.
Self-shame
The hardest feeling is self-shame. Not for actions, but for the fact that something is wrong in appearance, social status or financial situation. Some are ashamed to walk in crumpled clothes, others cannot ride the bus, and still others are ashamed of their weight or appearance. The formation of many complexes is associated with shame, but this is an unnecessary, limiting feeling that is worth getting rid of.
If you don't like yourself, then it's time to accept yourself. Everyone should love himself, because there are no ideal people. Each has its own advantages and disadvantages. One should be proud of what life has given, and rejoice in what is. After all, because of shame, a lot of stupid things are done, and much of what should have been done is never done. Be yourself. Unusual, individuality is not a shame, you need to learn to be proud of it.
Shame is sometimes a good incentive. Trying to change the parameters for which it is inconvenient, a person changes for the better, strives for improvement. But at the same time, it is important not to go against your desires, not to break your inner self in order to please others, but only to emphasize your merits.
Dealing with shame is difficult, if this feeling does not allow you to sleep well, find a good counselor. Several sessions of communication with a specialist will help you feel better.
