As a child, we were told all the time: "Aren't you ashamed?" Since then, we have known what shame is. We are ashamed of the incorrectly spoken word, ashamed that we do not know something, ashamed to voice our desires, ashamed to ask, ashamed to say no. In essence, we live in our shame. But for some reason we are accused of having neither shame nor conscience.
Shame is a feeling of inconvenience or guilt that comes from doing something. In fact, guilt is a sense of shame. You don't need to be ashamed and blame yourself. First, because shame kills self-confidence; secondly, it interferes with fully living and feeling, and most importantly, developing.
We want one thing, but we have to do another, so as not to experience this unpleasant feeling of shame again. Children behave much more naturally than adults, because they do not yet know what shame is.
According to experts, the feeling of shame lasts only a few seconds. But the consequences can be quite long-term. Sometimes traumas can be deep and confusing in life. Injuries are especially severe when they are ashamed in public.
If you've already made a mistake that haunts you, you can correct the situation by forgiving yourself. If they are trying to shame you in public, for example, for talking loudly on the phone, you can accept this mistake and correct yourself. Correction helps to combat guilt, because you convince yourself that you have corrected yourself and there is nothing more to be ashamed of.
One should not be ashamed of appearance: fullness, freckles, height. However, sometimes it does not work to accept yourself as you are. All this suggests that we simply do not know how to accept reality and look for positive features in it. And if you think so, then why do we live at all, if we don't like something all the time and we are ashamed. Maybe you should just switch to other important emotions. For example, think about what we can be proud of. The feeling of shame should be replaced by a feeling of pride and self-confidence, then it will be easier to live.
