Losing a loved one is a great grief and an ordeal. The hope that death is about others is illusory. A terrible thing happened - my brother died. And you constantly ask yourself - how to live on.
Emotions and feelings
The death of a loved one is one of the biggest psychological trauma. When a brother dies - all thoughts, emotions are only about him. A swarm of questions in my head: why exactly is he? For what? Could it have been saved? Who's guilty? How to live on? You almost physically feel the pain of loss. Perhaps you even think that your brother is somewhere here, now he will come up, hug you, and everything will turn out to be just a terrible dream. How do you get through this difficult time?
Stages of grief or what is happening to you?
The first stage begins when you find out about the death of your brother. It's a shock. Feeling the unreality of what is happening. You don't believe this happened. All feelings, emotions freeze, a state of numbness appears. The initial stage of grief can last up to a week, and often a person cannot even cry - there is shock and emptiness inside. Others may mistake this state for selfishness and callousness, but in fact, the longer the state of numbness lasts, the stronger the grief.
The second stage is anger and resentment. During this stage, many questions arise, on the topic of who is to blame and whether something could be done. A person can already cry - and mourn not only the deceased brother. The deceased loved one, as it were, tells us that we can also die.
The third stage is the guilt stage. Obsessive thoughts “What if…” are spinning in my head. A person is haunted by obsessive thoughts that he has not done something, that he hasn’t said anything, he doesn’t like it. Perhaps even a survivor's guilt. The image of the deceased brother is idealized, it seems almost sacred.
Acute grief stage. This is the peak of the heartache. This period can last up to two to three months. It also reflects physically: loss of appetite, fatigue, chest tightness, a lump in the throat, sleep disturbances. At this moment, the person is separated from the deceased relative through pain.
Acceptance stage. No matter how strong the pain is, sooner or later it subsides, and then the stage of accepting death begins. This period usually takes up to a year, and then life slowly takes its toll.
How can you ease your worries?
You can scream, cry and blame someone for a long time, but nothing can be returned. It is best to turn to the family for support, because they are experiencing the same thing, and only together can you find the strength to live on.
Try to complete the things and plans you dreamed of with your brother. Sooner or later, life will return to its own rut, you just have to hold out for a while, live this grief.
