Losing a loved one is always painful. And parents, whose child committed suicide, go through a real hell. A tremendous sense of guilt in what happened, condemning views, irreplaceable bitterness of loss - all this requires urgent action.
It is necessary
- - the help of a psychotherapist;
- - the Internet.
Instructions
Step 1
No matter how trite it sounds in this situation, but still calm down. Try to calm down for at least a couple of minutes, half an hour, an hour. Analyze the situation that has happened, looking at it from the outside. Can you name the reasons that pushed your child to take such a step? Is this your fault? Try to answer objectively.
Step 2
Remember that perfect parents do not exist in the world, each of them makes certain mistakes in raising children. Often, a child's reaction to a particular situation cannot be traced in advance, just as it is impossible to protect him from all possible dangers by putting him in a cage or holding him under a glass cover.
Step 3
Blame and scold yourself for what happened if you deliberately drove your son or daughter, tried to inflict maximum pain on him or her, humiliate, drive into a corner, etc. But that was not the case, was it? You, like most parents, took care of your child, tried to give him a lot of good, brought up and protected him from various problems.
Step 4
Do not look for reasons to reproach yourself again and again, nothing will change from this. Try to accept what happened, put up with it, and if there are more children in your family, direct your love and care to them.
Step 5
Allow yourself to free yourself from negative emotions: cry, scream, pound your fists on the pillow, preferably so as not to scare other family members. Just keep in mind that this method of getting rid of negativity is good as a one-time remedy, do not use it all the time.
Step 6
Try not to set up a museum in the room your child lived in. Give his things to the orphanage. Do not consider this his betrayal, on the contrary, let this act of mercy be performed in honor of his memory, as a request before God for the forgiveness of his soul. Keep only his photographs, but do not arrange or hang them in prominent places.
Step 7
Leave the house more often, walk in crowded busy places, but at first avoid playgrounds, as, most likely, the serene fun of other people's children will bring you heartache. However, there are people who, on the contrary, after the death of their own child found consolation by getting a job in some kind of children's educational institution: kindergarten, school, orphanage, etc. Think about whether you should go their way?
Step 8
Stop running through your child's suicide thoughts endlessly. Remember that you are not the only one in your grief, there are many truly unhappy people on Earth, including those who have lost their children. Try to switch your pain to caring for those who need your love, attention, affection. You can just sometimes come to an orphanage or hospice, providing all possible help to unfortunate people.
Step 9
Find new hobbies, hobbies, make interesting acquaintances. It is not worth it to deprive yourself of all the joys of life out of guilt, putting an end to yourself, so you still will not return your child.
Step 10
Do not forget that any, even the most acute pain dulls over time. Learn to live anew, look for a new meaning, strive for a positive outlook no matter what, do not allow yourself to be embittered by the whole world.
Step 11
Try to look at what happened from a philosophical point of view. If you take for the truth the teaching that the human soul has many rebirths, your child will soon find, and perhaps has already found a new life. The previous existence, like death, were given to him for a definite, unacceptable human mind, experience.
Step 12
If you cannot deal with your grief on your own, make an appointment with an experienced therapist. He will assign you individual or group sessions, in the latter case, you will meet people who have experienced exactly the same grief as yours. If for some reason you cannot contact a psychotherapist in person, do it via the Internet. On the Internet, you can also find forums where people who have experienced such grief communicate and seek ways to a new life.
