To understand and forgive is perhaps the most difficult thing in human relationships, but this is what makes us stronger and wiser. Trying to forgive once will make it easier for you to understand others and maintain valuable relationships.
Instructions
Step 1
The offense that is firmly entrenched in you can be of two types: either a loved one betrayed you, or hurt you in a sore spot, knowing about him beforehand. It always hurts, but you must remember that you need to understand and forgive the other, first of all, for yourself. You can continue a relationship with a person or end any communication with him, but the first thing that should interest you is the removal of the dark burden from your heart.
Step 2
Therefore, show love for yourself. Understand that if you accumulate grievances, scroll them in your head, blame the person - by this, in the first place, you will punish yourself. There is a theory that being offended, a person seems to agree with the damage that has been done to him, but does not want to admit it to himself. Stop feeling sorry for yourself; instead, love yourself.
Step 3
Admit that you are hurt, hurt, hurt - record your feelings as fully as possible. By doing this, you will stop the endless development of these feelings and leave them in the past.
Step 4
To leave them in the past physically - write down your feelings on paper and put a date under the text. A minute has passed - do you understand that all this is already in the past? Now is the time for self-cleaning.
Step 5
Soberly and objectively, remember the circumstances in which someone offended you. Write it down on a piece of paper. Perhaps you will see new details in which the offense will fade somewhat, since that person's guilt will not be so exhaustive.
Step 6
Step into the shoes of the abuser. Even if he turns out to be completely wrong, what guided him, what goals did he pursue? Perhaps he did it from his own weakness, jealousy, poor health, depression - there may be a lot of reasons. By understanding what drove him, you can forgive.
Step 7
Talk to the person. Even if he is ashamed or your relationship does not presuppose a dialogue now, it is important for you to speak in front of him, to confess your feelings, to say how much his attitude hurt you, and how you did not expect it.
Step 8
Try to be as clear as possible, do not get emotional and do not sink into resentment again. Imagine that you are describing sensations that are not in you and do not belong to you. Imagine them in front of you in a round vase and describe everything you see.
Step 9
Love helps to understand and forgive, and this applies even to the most unpleasant cases. If your situation is related to a loved one, your love for him will outweigh any resentment and misunderstanding. Therefore, do not hide it, do not cover it with dark selfish feelings, forget about aggression and accusations, but just tell yourself and him that you love. And feel it. This one action can lead to magical changes within you. To understand and forgive is difficult and at the same time simple. And here everything depends only on you.
