An article about our first experiences before birth, how they affect later life.
What do we think about in the womb?
Hello dear readers!
This time we will talk about the very first experience we got when we appeared in this world, about our birth.
Unfortunately, many of us perceive the very process of having a child as an unpleasant, painful event that needs to be passed quickly and forgotten.
And, indeed, all of us, with the exception of very rare cases, keep the memories of our birth deep in our souls, to put it simply, we forget our birth. And in vain. It turns out that the way a little man goes through his birth may be the key to what awaits him in his future life.
Psychologists have found that a person continues to be influenced by those events that happened to us a long time ago, up to what happened to us during birth and even earlier.
It turns out that we begin to exist and perceive the world around us not from the moment we take the first breath, but much earlier.
One of the first scientists who paid attention to this was Stanislav Grof. He studied various states of human consciousness using LSD and achieved the fact that he and his patients began to remember events that were forgotten.
At first, patients began to recall events from distant childhood. Noting that the recollection was very realistic - they completely felt like children, thought and reacted to everything like children. Later, memories of what happened before birth began to appear.
It turned out that a little man in the womb lives his own life, has the widest range of sensations and experiences that differ in many ways from our present ones.
What can a baby feel and experience before the birth process? How does he feel?
Those who managed to remember their experiences associated with birth, note their depth and cosmic character. Numerous reports indicate that a child in the womb does not feel like a separate being, but as if merged with the ocean of life, with the whole universe. The child feels oneness with his mother and discerns many of the nuances of her emotional state and, most importantly, her attitude towards him. It is as if a clear telepathic connection is being established connecting mother and child.
The child is open to all the experiences of the mother. But his perception, of course, is different from ours. It is not thoughts, judgments and assessments that are perceived and read, but emotional states, feelings, experiences.
At some yet unexplored level, the child perceives and grasps how much he is loved and expected. The way the mother treats the child while he is still in the womb influences his entire future life in many ways. If the mother sends him positive emotions, thinks about him, then the child perceives this as a stream of care and love. Then, in the future life, a person trusts the world around him more, believes that he is loved and supported. It may seem strange, but the ability to enjoy life and relax has its roots in this very period of a person's life. And, of course, a person who receives a stream of unconditional love and care will be more successful and psychologically stable in life.
If the mother is in a state of stress and thinks with horror about the birth of a child, then he perceives this as aggression and a threat to his life. Such experiences of the mother can form a feeling of chaos and their uselessness.
Finally, the birth itself begins - the most serious and responsible test. The fact is that at first the uterus begins to contract with very great force, while the birth canal is still closed. A child from a comfortable environment literally goes to hell. The food is cut off, and it is squeezed from all sides with incredible force. This moment can be compared to the feeling of no way out, a trap.
And here the way his mother treated him before is of decisive importance. If there was enough love and warmth, then this test is easier to bear.
If this period passes more or less well, then the child receives the first experience of patience in his life. Previously, he was in comfort, received the necessary food, and now he has lost all this. This is the first deprivation in a child's life. If this test goes well, then in life such a person is less likely to panic with temporary hardships and troubles.
What if everything was different? Then it is perceived as the collapse of the world, there is a feeling of loss, hopelessness, guilt.
In most cases, the mother begins to experience panic when labor begins. And unfortunately, this leads to the fact that the child is deprived of emotional support.
If this first experience is unsuccessful, then the feeling of being lost can remain for many years. This is where the fear of confined spaces and some of our current problems can originate.
Further, the birth canal opens, and the child begins to move outward. The feeling of hopelessness, if it remains, is significantly softened, as a way out appears. Contractions help the child to get out, but the child himself makes an effort to get closer to the exit.
This is the first and very valuable experience of the struggle for one's existence and achieving the goal. And, in fact, a lot in his future depends on how the child goes along this path. If he successfully fights for his existence, then in life he will behave the same way. If childbirth is painful, or, which is very important, the child feels that he is not expected in this world, then he may even hinder his progress. Then in life, most likely, he will not be a "breakthrough" person, and the very achievement of the goal will be associated with unpleasant sensations.
Finally, the baby is born. And a lot also depends on how he is met.
Being born brightly symbolizes the first achievement of a goal in life. If he is greeted with warmth, love and care, then, in general, this test can be considered successful. If a child feels pain, coldness and rejection, then his first experience in life teaches him: “No matter how hard you make an effort, nothing good will come of it”.
Being born is being born in a new world where everything is different. However, the trials that fall out to the child remain with him for many years.
Usually the process of birth itself is considered something like a pathology, something that needs to be forgotten as soon as possible, like a terrible dream.
After all, he carries a lot of trauma. In psychology, there is even a term "birth trauma", and some psychoanalysts will probably see the cause of many problems during the birth process.
But the birth of a human being has another, positive side. The child receives the first experience in his life - the experience of action, the experience of achieving a goal, the experience of partnership (during childbirth, he needs to measure his movement with an external force pushing him out). He gets the first idea of love and acceptance at the level of feelings and sensations.
It turns out that the first contact with this world forces us to face the eternal philosophical questions and problems that we all have to deal with in one way or another. Love is hate, the meaning of life, acceptance and rejection.
So it is worth considering whether the child is as naive and ignorant as is commonly believed in our society.
I wish you success, dear readers.
Andrey Prokofiev, psychologist.
