Silence and patience are not the best way out when a person is under emotional pressure. Indeed, at any moment, tension can result in open aggression, and next to it will not be the culprit of the conflict, but an ordinary passer-by or a loved one.
Hot temper is considered to be a negative character trait. However, in reality, it turns out that conflicting people have great patience, constantly suppressing their aggression. At first, a person tries not to notice or denies the discomfort that others cause him. However, sooner or later, such a high threshold of patience will play a cruel joke with its owner, and at some point all the anger will come out.
This most often happens when we are afraid to outline our comfort zone when communicating with unfamiliar people. It seems to us that we will offend a person, and he will think badly of us. Even more unpleasant is the constant tardiness of friends. However, even in this case, we do not want to offend our loved ones and decide to remain silent. For fear of feeling uncomfortable, we can often remain silent in the store when we are hung up not what we asked for, or in the hairdresser when the master cuts too much hair.
In each of these situations, tension grows inside a person. Because of good parenting, many people feel that being angry is bad and caring for loved ones is more important than taking care of yourself. However, it is precisely this position that can ultimately lead to open aggression. After such an outburst of anger, a person begins to be accused of conflict and irascibility, which must be contained. And this leads to a vicious circle in the struggle with their own emotions.
Do hot-tempered people need to become less patient?
Lowering your patience threshold will be one of the most effective steps towards a normal life. It is enough to learn to recognize situations that cause discomfort before they lead to severe stress. You will have to finally decide that your own feelings are more important than what others think of you.
If a coworker or friend is disturbing your comfortable distance, it’s best to let them know right away that you’re not happy with it because you’re unable to focus on the conversation. If a friend is constantly late, then it is enough to inform him that you do not have time for empty waiting, and if he does not appear within half an hour, then you cancel the meeting.
Other people will constantly test the boundaries of what is permitted and test your patience if you have not indicated to them in advance what you are not happy with. Expressing what doesn't fit right in your face can be scary, especially when you are accused of being selfish. However, having shown patience in one, it will already be difficult for you to restrain yourself in another, and you will end up as an aggressive and angry person who silently accumulated resentment in yourself.
By explaining your position to others, you will greatly simplify the process of interacting with them, since each conversation will no longer be perceived by both sides as a minefield, where your patience is the check from the grenade. Remember that tension tends to build up, and at the moment of the last drop, a close friend or some random person may be nearby who does not deserve the anger that has accumulated in you all day.
