It is impossible to always evoke from others only positive emotions and approval. Often you have to listen to criticism. It is important to be able to react to it correctly, without falling into aggression and anger, or, conversely, into self-flagellation and self-deprecation.
Criticism can be constructive or destructive. If the first is aimed at eliminating shortcomings and improving results, then the second is simply a way to drain your negative emotions and claims to the object of criticism. You can benefit from constructive comments for development and change for the better, but you need to distance yourself and stay away from the critic who is trying to shove off his negative emotions in this way.
To determine what the critic wants to achieve, it is enough to ask him to concretize his claims and give practical advice on how to get out of this situation. Perhaps he really has a good recommendation to listen to. In addition, such a reaction to criticism (a calm response in the spirit of "Okay. Are you right. What would you advise?"), Instead of a stormy showdown, will cause the interlocutor to break the pattern and the conversation can really turn into a productive channel.
It is important to remember that, as a rule, a person is offended and forced to react aggressively precisely by those remarks that contain some truth. For example, if a very low person is called “bigot”, he is unlikely to be offended by this, because he is absolutely sure that this is a lie, and he will not have to waste time, energy and emotions to prove the obvious things. But if a tall person hears such a remark, then most likely it will cause very unpleasant sensations and a desire to defend himself. Therefore, every time criticism evokes strong emotions, it is worth considering - perhaps they really contain some of the truth. We must try to take it calmly, find benefits and impetus to improve results.
Often people react painfully to criticism due to the fact that they themselves do not give themselves the right to make mistakes, trying to be ideal in the eyes of others. Therefore, it is important to work with your internal attitudes, blocks and prohibitions on the possibility of making a mistake, doing something “wrong”. Most likely, they come from childhood, from too violent negative reactions of parents to "wrong" behavior. The fear of being rejected, unloved carries over into adulthood. Therefore, upon hearing criticism, many begin to either actively defend themselves, not even trying to extract something useful from the criticism, or go into self-flagellation and self-destruction: "I won't succeed," "I can't do anything," "I'm worth nothing." etc. Instead, you should give someone else's opinion the right to exist, and yourself the right to be imperfect.
However, if the critic is clearly hostile and their only goal is to vent their anger, it is important to be able to defend yourself or distance yourself from that person. Do not get involved in a stormy showdown. It is better to calmly answer the interlocutor that the conversation should be postponed for a more appropriate time, when he will be in a calm, balanced state.
