Clashes of interest are an essential element of communication. After all, it is impossible to always adapt to others or expect similar behavior from others. However, it is necessary to know when to stop and not to allow disputes and discussions to develop into conflict situations. And if it was not possible to avoid a scandal, then the ability to put up will help to correct the situation.
Instructions
Step 1
Pause. You shouldn't try to continue the conversation immediately after an argument. After all, each person needs a certain time to cool down and sort out his thoughts and emotions. Even if you calmed down in a few minutes and came up with a couple more weighty arguments in your favor, you should not expect your partner to be ready for a constructive conversation. It is possible that he has not yet managed to cope with the negative residue left after the scandal. This means that instead of jointly searching for the optimal solution, you will again begin to sort things out.
Step 2
Find the right words. Psychologists advise avoiding accusations and talking more about your own emotions, and not about your partner's mistakes. Try not to use statements - conflictogens that can turn even the smallest dispute into a grand scandal. Such phrases include rhetorical questions with a negative connotation (“why did you never …”, “what did you think about,” etc.), unflattering epithets, comparisons and any offensive remarks. Try to use the technique of "I-statement": "I hate that you do this, because because of this I feel …".
Step 3
Look for a compromise solution. You should not re-insist on your own point of view, otherwise you run the risk of quarreling with your interlocutor again. Respect his opinion, even if it seems completely wrong to you. Tell your partner about your vision of the situation, then listen carefully to his version. Only after that should you start looking for a solution that will appeal to both.
Step 4
Come up with a code word. If you often quarrel with a loved one: loved one, mom, girlfriend, then it is better to take preventive measures to keep peace in the relationship. For example, choose a word that will signal that you need to end the squabble. This is an easy way to defuse the situation and turn the conversation on a more peaceful channel.
