Some people are so altruistic that a share of healthy selfishness will only benefit them. To develop self-love and learn to think about your own interests first, you need to work on yourself.
Towards your desires
To develop healthy selfishness in yourself, you do not need to suppress your own desires. On the contrary, go to meet them. Think more about your dreams instead of serving others' fulfillment.
Start changing with the little things. Every day, think about how you can pamper yourself today. Let them be little surprises. The main thing is to feel the taste of pleasure, to understand how pleasant it can be to show love for yourself and take care of your own person.
Perhaps you have already atrophied the ability to desire something. Here, you observe others who are striving for new heights, but nothing turns over in your soul. Then imagine your own life in a few years. Think about what it should be, ideally. This exercise will help you define your life goals. In the future, you need to follow the intended course and not deviate from it to please others. Divide big tasks into smaller ones and work on achieving the goal post-by-name.
Life position
Learn to take, not just give. Don't be afraid to ask a friend for a favor or demand that your legal rights be respected. You should not always give in to everyone. This is how you oppress your own ego.
Stop feeling sorry for everyone. Focus on yourself, because you need your own help. If a colleague asks for help with a report during an emergency, do not rush to run to help. Calmly finish your urgent matters, and only then see if you have the opportunity to solve other people's problems.
Do what you like. If you get bored at a party, go elsewhere. If you find it unbearable to wait for a friend who is trying on another dress in a store, offer to split up, and after shopping, meet in a cafe. Don't try to please everyone. First of all, think about whether you are interested in it.
Your healthy selfishness should manifest itself in all areas of your life. Don't skimp on yourself. If you want to buy something, but you regret the money that will be useful to other members of your family, this is the wrong position. You shouldn't put others above yourself. Satisfy your needs.
Stop giving in to everyone. If something is not to your heart, find the strength to defend your own opinion. And most importantly, after having acted your way, you should not reflect and suffer from the voice of conscience. Do not be afraid to seem flighty and capricious selfish. How many times have you acted to please others. It's time for you to run the show.
