Gossip is one of the most unpleasant costs of living in society. A person does not feel very comfortable when his bones are washed behind his back. Someone may have a quite noticeable deterioration in both physical and mental state, if he is afraid that they will start to gossip about him. And someone lives, not paying attention to what they say about him.
The nature of gossip
To figure out how to ignore gossip, it’s a good idea to first figure out why people gossip at all. In fact, gossip is an integral part of human communication, and here's why.
A person lives in a society, or rather, is a member of several more or less large communities or social groups. This includes a school class, a student group, a work team, a group of friends and even a family. A person is built in such a way that he likes to communicate with those who are most similar to himself: he adheres to the same views, moral and ethical attitudes, belongs to the same social stratum with him and even has a certain external similarity (racial and ethnic characteristics, manner of dressing and etc.).
Naturally, there are no identical people and cannot be. But in each community there are the majority of individuals with the greatest number of such similarities. If there is someone who is too different from others, they begin to discuss and condemn him.
So maybe the only way to avoid gossip is to be “like everyone else”, ie. demonstrate the traits and qualities inherent in the majority of members of a particular social group? Yes, in this case, there is much less chance of being judged and discussed. But this path is not very good.
Firstly, every person always has something that is not accepted and negatively assessed by the majority of members of a social group, thus, no person can be absolutely protected from gossip.
And secondly, social groups are different, and each of them has its own "norms", which means that moving from group to group, you will have to constantly adjust to the requirements of each of them. This is where the direct road to constant stress and depression is!
But if the gossip cannot be stopped, you must learn not to overreact to it. How to do it?
How to deal with gossip
Let go of guilt and accept yourself. This can be difficult, because it is much more pleasant to hear praise than condemnation. But it is impossible for everyone to become “right” and “good”. Yes, every person is different, and sometimes his “shortcomings” are the reverse side of his merits. It is necessary to accept in oneself those sides that others do not like, to realize that they are personality traits and in response to criticism, calmly state: "Yes, I am."
Understand that any gossip will end someday. People are interested in others until they have more important and pressing problems concerning themselves. As soon as this happens, gossip subside by itself.
Gradually it is worth forming your own social circle. Try to ensure that there are enough people in any social group who share your views and beliefs, lead a similar lifestyle and have similar tastes. In a circle of like-minded people, the likelihood of gossip is much less.
