Jealousy has many faces. Children are jealous of their parents, and spouses of each other. Happy are those who can sincerely declare that they have never experienced this destructive feeling, but no less happy are those who managed to defeat the "green-eyed monster." Having managed to curb this "snake" once, a person learns to keep it in a "bridle" and will not allow him to destroy his life, drive him crazy, poison his happiness.
Instructions
Step 1
Many modern psychologists define jealousy as a reaction to a real or perceived threat. Whether there is something that causes such a reaction in you, or is it just a figment of your imagination, it does not matter. What matters is how you deal with it. That is why no external signs of a spouse's "trustworthiness" can sometimes affect a jealous partner. In order to understand the reason, you need to start not with the actual signs of betrayal, but with an analysis of where you get the feeling that something is threatening your well-being.
Step 2
Go back to your past. Have you encountered situations where you have been betrayed? Perhaps someone in your family was harshly deceived and abandoned? It so happens that someone's situation touched you so much that you began to fear its repetition in your own destiny. Try to write down all the associations with the words "deception", "treason", "betrayal" on a piece of paper and then re-read them. Remember what each of the cases that came to mind meant to you. Think about whether he has anything to do with you today. Even if you were once unseemly treated, are you ready to allow this event to affect your life today? The past has no power other than what you yourself give it.
Step 3
Think about yourself. What kind of person are you? What is good, kind in you, for which others love you? If you have low self-esteem, then it is she who is the reason for your jealousy, and not the behavior of your partner. Try reminding yourself of who you are and why your loved one chose you every time you get jealous. You yourself do not know the answer to this question? So it's time to ask. Just don't ask about it every time it seems to you that you have been "forgotten". It is enough to remember and repeat to yourself difficult situations.
Step 4
To reduce the level of anxiety that you owe to maddening jealousy, it is important to maintain external and internal harmony. Get enough sleep, eat right, do not forget about physical activity - all these simple tips, which at first glance have nothing to do with your problem, are aimed at making you relax and be able to look at the problem with a calm look of a rested person, and not tired and worn out by stress.
Step 5
Jealousy is irrational. It is akin to panic, a state when a person is unable to think sensibly. Track fruitless thoughts and change them to rational, logical ones. For example, instead of thinking: “my partner can leave me, exchange me for someone else,” tell yourself: “I respect my companion and I know that he chose me. We are both adults and we value our relationship."
Step 6
Don't compare yourself to other people around your partner. You will never feel safe doing tests like this. There will always be someone who is better than you in some way. Only now, do you know everything about the shortcomings of your "standard"? There are no perfect people, everyone has their own mistakes, complexes and shortcomings. Your companion has already chosen you, so strive to be the person with whom he entered into a relationship, and not someone else whom you invented.
Step 7
Be open in your relationship. If your companion is doing something that makes you anxious, it is best to ask it directly. You can never fully imagine how the other person thinks and acts, you do not need to try. Likewise, your partner is not clairvoyant, he may sincerely not notice that his long conversations with someone give you such mental anguish. State the problem and, in most cases, you will hear a balanced and simple explanation. For example, that your prospective "rival" is only fond of spear fishing, like your companion, and the interest is not caused by his personality, but by a common hobby.
Step 8
Every time you feel a fit of jealousy, remind yourself that it was this feeling that destroyed more relationships than all the betrayal of the world. If, despite everything, jealousy drives you crazy, seek professional help.
