A conflict, from the point of view of psychologists, is a mismatch and clash of opinions, views, stereotypes. As a result, negative and negative emotions arise between people, which give rise to anger, hatred. Why do conflict situations arise?
To answer this question, use a comparison, perhaps not entirely correct, but figurative. Why is the fire burning? First, it is absolutely necessary that there is fuel, that is, a combustible material. Second, a high temperature to "start" the initial oxidation reaction, and then it will go on by itself. Finally, thirdly, it is necessary to ensure that water does not fall on the flaring flame, otherwise it will go out.
In your situation (preconditions, the emergence and development of the conflict) "combustible material" will serve as a clash or simply a mismatch of interests, views, habits of the conflicting parties. Human nature is such that it is his views and habits that he considers correct and most natural. Therefore, when faced with a different point of view on a particular issue, problem, he often instinctively regards it as a challenge, an attack directed against him personally. It goes without saying that the opponent can behave in the same way. In this case, the "fire hazard" increases sharply.
Well, the role of the very outbreak, which gives a high temperature, is played by the so-called "conflict generator", that is, a careless or harsh word, a dismissive gesture, a smile or demonstrative silence. Of course, it is not at all necessary that one of the listed factors (or even a whole series) will certainly provoke the onset of a conflict, likening that flash or the finger pulling the trigger. In some cases, the conflict can be avoided. But sooner or later it will flare up.
Now, with regard to the conditions conducive to the intensification and growth of the conflict that has arisen. If the side against which a rude word, a contemptuous look or gesture, a grin, etc. was directed, shows patience, generosity, refrains from a retaliatory attack in the same spirit, or, even more so, tries to translate the beginning conflict into a joke, then she with brilliance will play the role of water, extinguishing the flaming flame. Unfortunately, this happens very rarely. Human nature is such that those who consider themselves offended (all the more offended), in 99% of cases will want to repay the offender with "the same coin". And even more "weighty". At the same time, he often acts according to the rule: "The best defense is an attack." Word for word, and now a hot fire of full-scale conflict is already blazing. With mutual insults and personalization. Well, if it doesn't come to assault! But a spoiled mood is guaranteed in any case.
Therefore, no matter how difficult it is, you still need to stop in time. Remember that any fire is easier to prevent than to extinguish.
