There are people who love to gossip and discuss other people behind their backs. Washing bones and spreading rumors in the absence of the object under discussion gives them a special pleasure, but what makes them do these unsightly acts? There are several reasons for this.
What provokes discussion?
First of all, discussing the person behind his back allows the gossiper to feel more significant and authoritative in the eyes of the audience. This is also due to the usual envy, the desire to achieve the status of the person under discussion and the sublimation of their desires in relation to him. Gossip about someone often increases the gossiper's self-esteem and gives him the opportunity to grow in his own eyes, as well as gain ephemeral power over the reputation of the person being discussed.
People often use gossip to justify their shortcomings - after all, in others they are irritated by precisely those qualities that they do not find (or do not recognize) in themselves.
Not the least reason for the discussion is the desire to please the interlocutor. Having shared a secret with someone, the gossip automatically becomes a person who possesses important information, which he decided to entrust to the interlocutor, thereby distinguishing him from the majority. The more rumors spread by gossips, the more confident they feel, supporting their own egocentrism and often receiving gratitude for being aware of the personal affairs of certain persons.
The birth of gossip
Everyone has their own point of view, but not everyone seeks to express it. Discussion behind the back is most often sinned by women and self-confident vain people who consider it necessary to convey their regal opinion to those around them. Gossip often plays the role of a kind of social "glue", because with its help people who cannot always find common topics for conversation fulfill their need for communication. When discussing someone, they often find like-minded people and continue to gossip in their close circle.
The usually discussed person sooner or later learns about the gossip spread around her - and then the gossip may suffer for his long tongue.
Psychologists recommend that the subjects of discussion ignore the gossip spread about them or turn to the gossip in public, demanding confirmation of his accusations or fictional facts. Active refutation or reciprocal gossip reduces a person to a loser, therefore, it is advisable to perceive all the negative with humor and respond to everything with a regal condescending smile. Usually, this infuriates the gossips the most - after all, the original goal has not been fulfilled, the object does not suffer, therefore, the gossip himself turns into a powerless bazaar woman who looks like a Pug barking at an elephant.
