Many films have been shot about love and many books have been written. As a rule, they talk about love for a man or woman, children, friends. At the same time, in the psychological literature, they write more and more often that before loving others, it is worth finding out what it is like to love yourself.
Is loving yourself good or bad?
Due to upbringing, the phrase "self-love" in people is often associated with narcissism, selfishness, self-confidence, prudence, indifference to people. It may seem to someone that you can love either yourself or someone else, as if these are mutually exclusive concepts.
However, according to psychologists, these concepts are complementary. Moreover, only a self-loving person is able to sincerely give love to another, as well as accept it. It is difficult to fall in love with someone who considers himself inferior, rather it will be pity.
What does self-love mean
Loving yourself means accepting yourself along with your strengths and weaknesses, and even trying to correct these shortcomings, do not feel disgust for them and feelings of guilt for them. It means not comparing yourself to others, realizing your individuality and value.
If a person is overweight, he will not lie on the couch and feel sorry for himself, but out of love for his body, he will try to make his diet as useful as possible and engage in fitness. Taking care of your body and health (but not constantly indulging your weaknesses) is an indicator of self-love.
A person who loves himself respects himself and expects the same respect from others. He does not impose and does not beg for attention and love from those who are not ready to give them to him. He allows himself to have his own opinion on various issues, knows how to say "no", to defend his interests.
He respects his needs and desires (provided that they do not harm other people) and even with a busy schedule, he finds time and ways to please himself. If this is a parent, he does not sacrifice himself completely for the sake of children, but also has his own time and space. A wife's life does not revolve entirely around her husband, and vice versa.
A person is not bored alone with himself, he does not feel painful dependence on other people. He can always occupy himself with something, enjoys his company. Therefore, such a person attracts to himself with his confidence, it seems that it is always interesting with him that he has a rich and fascinating inner world.
As far as possible, such a person tries to make his plans and dreams come true, be it travels or a change of profession. He knows that the more fulfilled and happy he is, the more chances he has to make those around him happy.
A loving and self-respecting person also respects other people, their right to personal time and space, to personal freedom and to self-realization. So, a mother, who, in addition to raising her son, found time for her personal affairs and interests, does not seek to interfere with her son's personal life and keep him longer with herself, unlike the one for whom the son has become the only meaning of life.
At the same time, self-love does not imply self-obsession and selfishness. Those who have complexes are usually fixated on themselves. And this prevents them from noticing people and the world around them. If a person truly loves himself, then the excess of this feeling translates into love for people around, animals and the world around him as a whole. When a person has a lot of something, he can give it to others, but not vice versa.
