Anxiety syndrome is common to many. The degree of inner confidence is different for everyone, and it happens that when the expectation of failure in some important matter for us literally overwhelms, then we have to resort to different methods (breathing exercises, switching attention, contact with nature, finally).
But what is this anxiety and literally painful intoxication with this "everything will be bad, and a crash is possible"? The irony of the unconscious and everything - from childhood, of course. Anxiety, fear of failure, fear of failure, and failure themselves are associated with so-called inhibitions that have been built into us by significant adults. There are several main prohibitions:
1. Ban on ideas. It is embedded in us if we were constantly told: “If you grow up, you will understand, it’s too small to think,” “everything has already been invented for you,” “it’s not your mind’s business,” and so on. Subsequently, it manifests itself as limitations "my ideas are worthless."
2. Prohibition of action. It is associated with twitches in childhood: "Don't poke your nose, we will do it ourselves", "you will put on some more." Perhaps you were ridiculed when you did something. In adulthood, it manifests itself as a lack of motivation and confidence.
3. Ban on emotions, on self-expression. Systematic devaluation of your childhood experiences. As a result, you decide not to show yourself, to close. Limitation - I am not important, I am worthless.
4. Ban on success, ban on a happy life. This is due to the promotion of illness in childhood. They felt sorry for you, gave you warmth (in fact, no) when you were sick, and a conviction was formed in you that success is a disease, a happy life is when it is bad. It is here that I see in adulthood anxiety about a possible failure, but simply - the unconscious perception of failure as a norm, as an equivalent of happiness.
So what do you do about it? To work with the unconscious, in coaching there are various techniques in this regard. BUT, the very fact that we begin to see it, track it, notice it, has a therapeutic effect, and the problem loses its strength and charge. Well, and, of course, don't let this all lead to accusations of the parents. No, it is possible and useful to be angry with them, but not to blame them strongly - they did everything the way they knew how and in the best way at that time. And we have a resource with this to understand and overcome all the prohibitions.
