There is a category of people for whom everything falls out of hand. And this continues for more than one month and not even one year, but sometimes throughout life. They try, they try again, they act - and again they fail. Time after time, day after day, the same thing. Such people are usually called losers.
But not everything is so simple and unambiguous in this matter. Losers are also different: some are considered as such by all their environment, others only brand themselves. Some cease to feel like darlings of fate after one major loss in life, after which they cannot rise again. Others face minor obstacles every day. All pessimists cannot be called losers, because there are many successful people among them. Whereas from impenetrable optimists, luck can turn away over and over again. There are those unlucky people who blame others and circumstances for everything, and there are those who take full responsibility for their lives.
It is also interesting that the ambitions of each individual and the possibilities of achieving them have a huge influence on the self-perception of a loser. There are people who are absolutely satisfied with their position as a plumber, who has worked in the local housing office all his life. And another person who dreams of becoming a famous artist, but has not achieved this, will remain forever unhappy with his fate. Although he has a good income, several times higher than the income of a plumber.
This is why it is so difficult to give one correct description of a failure. No matter how hard we try to give an accurate answer, everyone will perceive themselves in this world in their own way.
However, there is one thing in common among those who consider themselves to be a clan of losers. Each of them, having tried a certain number of times to achieve what they want in life and having failed, does not find the strength to "get up" after the next "fall". Such a person loses faith in himself. And then his already broken psyche begins to work against him. Even if this person continues to move and do something, he will be haunted by fear and insecurity. Why put all your energy into something that will surely fail and bring pain? It is better to warn everyone at once (including yourself) so that they do not count on much. Or maybe even report that "evil fate" hangs over him, which will not lead to anything good.
Believing in his worthlessness in this world, the loser begins to unconsciously attract adversity himself. Chooses what is not profitable for him. Afraid to go where there is a chance to try himself. At the slightest danger, surrenders without a fight. It's so easy to lose friends, jobs, loved ones, and your last self-respect. This is exactly what happens to the grievers sooner or later. This undoubtedly further rooted their belief in their own deprivation.
So why do some people succeed at all costs, while others quickly give up? There may be several reasons.
1. These are people by nature suspicious, driven, subject to the opinion of others. The first setbacks and their assessment by society strongly influence the already precarious self-confidence and self-confidence. I want to run away, hide and never do anything again, so as not to arouse attention to myself.
2. Low stress resistance. Even without an assessment by an authoritative society, such losers tend to quickly become disillusioned with life. Once you get into the "black strip" - and such people are ready to think that their whole life has gone downhill.
3. A difficult childhood also helps to become a loser in life. Lack of support and assistance during this period. Often, children hear from irritated parents: “a fool,” “slob,” “you can't do anything right,” “people like you, don't achieve anything in life” - it's no wonder that by the age when a person is able to prove himself, these people are already broken, weak-willed and lack of initiative. Failures in this case are poured on the heads of those who do not know how to cope with them.
4. Depression. We are not talking about a temporary deterioration in mood, but about the very real clinical depression. In such a state, people would like to change a lot in life, but only there is no strength, and the will is paralyzed. In this case, it is very important to consult a specialist in time.
