It is believed that self-loathing can be seen immediately. Her presence is indicated by her gait, her gaze, her manner of speaking. However, there are some signs that are difficult to see. It is about them that will be discussed in the review.
Many psychologists talk about self-loathing. But there is nothing strange about these conversations. After all, it is difficult to achieve success if a person does not treat himself properly. And Mikhail Labkovsky even claims that you cannot really love someone very much if you hate yourself at the same time.
How to understand that you do not accept yourself as you are? There are several signs that are very difficult to discern.
Buying consumer goods
A person who loves himself will not save. This does not mean that it is necessary to purchase super-expensive things. But if you liked a beautiful thing, you are comfortable and comfortable in it, but instead you buy cheaper and less pleasant clothes - it means that you do not love yourself.
The same goes for technical items that increase comfort and living standards.
A person who loves himself is not subject to shopaholism and waste. He knows how to invest in himself and his environment. If he needs a specific thing for a comfortable life, he gets it, regardless of the price.
And do not forget the expression - "a miser pays twice." If you prefer to buy cheap items, be prepared to last for just a few days. And you have to spend again.
Example. There are shoes that cost 10 tr. You feel great in them. You are so comfortable that you are ready to even sleep in them. Running, driving, walking on rough terrain, just standing - they are perfect for anything you can think of.
And there are shoes that cost 2 tr. And they are not bad either. Yes, not as good as in shoes for 10 tr. But not as bad as in sneakers, for 500 rubles. What kind of shoes will you buy in the end, given that there is money for both? If for 2 tr. - it is worth considering whether you love yourself?
Lack of nutritional control
A person who loves himself always watches his body. And he will only eat when he is hungry. Naturally, you don't have to criticize yourself for absolutely every cake you eat.
But if you systematically eat food without feeling hungry, then the state of your body is not of particular interest to you.
Self-dislike can manifest itself and vice versa. A person stops eating normally in order to get in shape. As a result, anorexia appears.
Place at the end
Speaking about self-dislike, it's hard not to notice that there are people who purposefully avoid attention. They usually occupy the last rows, sit at the last desks. Do their best to go unnoticed.
The choice of location is an unconscious decision. Such people do not consider themselves worthy of a high position. They do not even express their opinion, tk. be afraid that they will be paid attention to and will begin to scoff.
Naturally, we are not talking about the fact that it is necessary to climb into the first rows and prove your point of view to everyone. There should be a measure in everything. But if you came to the lecture early and instead of sitting closer to the teacher and listening carefully to the lecture, you sat down on the very last desk and try not to ask questions again - this is a sign of self-dislike.
Pleasure comes first
How is self-loathing manifested? Often, different motivators advise you to indulge yourself more often in order to increase self-esteem. But it turns out that a self-loving person is a child who ends up in a candy store and can eat anything?
In fact, everything is not as simple as it might seem at first glance. A loving person does not have to feed himself with sweets and live only for the sake of pleasure. It's enough just to allow yourself to have what you want. Understand that you are worthy of it.
Self-love manifests itself primarily not in receiving pleasure, but in taking care of yourself. It is necessary to treat well both the body and the mind. For a self-loving person, well-being and health are much more important than momentary pleasures. High self-esteem implies the ability to make choices. But it is also important to take responsibility for the decision made, and not throw it on the people around you.
Signs of self-dislike
- You feel guilty all the time. For words, for actions, for decisions made, for the expressed point of view. Such a feeling may appear out of the blue.
- You don't know how to ask. If help is needed and you have to literally force yourself to ask for it, it’s a sign of self-dislike.
- You don't know how to refuse. You have to learn to say no if you don't want to do something.
- You are dependent on other people's opinions and refuse to fulfill desires when people around you begin to criticize you.
- You don't know how to accept compliments.
- How is self-loathing manifested? Looking at yourself in the mirror, you only notice flaws.
- Everything is bad in personal life. For example, a person who does not love himself will tolerate betrayal.
Self-loathing is a disease that must be treated. And if in the early stages you can cope on your own, then in a neglected case it is better to turn to professionals.
