Nobody loves me, everyone betrays me, you can't rely on friends - such thoughts often revolve in the head of a potential "victim". In psychology, there is even a special concept that characterizes such people - victim syndrome. Its reasons are quite deep and not as simple as it might seem at first glance. Such a syndrome can ruin a person's life quite easily.
The victim syndrome has its roots in a person's childhood. Moreover, both men and women can suffer from it in equal conditions. The reason may be dislike, when children felt unnecessary to their parents, were the second or third child after a brother or sister, who practically did not get special benefits. Because of this, from childhood, they develop a feeling of their own inferiority and the conviction that they are not worthy of anything more. Moreover, this thought sits so tightly in their subconscious that it seems that life itself constantly offers them situations that are played out not in favor of the “victims”.
The victim syndrome is characterized by the indifference of the person himself to what is happening in his life. He simply resigns himself to the fact that his beloved and close people leave him, friends only use when they need to, they do not respect him at work.
Often, "victims" are characterized as dull and boring people who do not stand out from the crowd, speak quietly, do not have pronounced gestures and apologize even in situations when they are right. Their inability to stand up for themselves and becomes the reason for the use of "victims" by other people for their own purposes.
Blaming the parents and believing that they have ruined life is very common for the victim. Moreover, in most cases, people suffering from this syndrome are happy with everything. After all, you don't need to work on yourself to fix everything.
If you are tired of being a whipping boy all the time, and you decide to start a new life in which there will be no place for victim syndrome, you will have to take your will into a fist.
Take a look at yourself first and notice your progress. Be sure to write them all down in a notebook. Thoughts denounced in a letter look more monumental, and besides, you will be able to more visually evaluate everything that you have been able to achieve. Be sure to record all the positive traits you have. But do not dwell on the negative - it destroys, and you have already scourged yourself quite strongly with the consciousness of your own insignificance.
Include auto-training in your daily schedule. Be sure to tell yourself every day that you are a great person who deserves all kinds of benefits, and your opinion should be taken into account.
Next, the most difficult thing is to learn to refuse in those situations when you do not want to do something, but you are under pressure. It is difficult, but possible. Remember that at first people will be perplexed - after all, they are used to the fact that you are reliable, and breaking stereotypes is a rather difficult process. Therefore, you can first practice with unfamiliar people. For example, on colleagues from the department with whom you rarely meet, and nothing changes from them in your work.
Experts say that it is enough to carry out such recommendations for 15-20 days for the consciousness of the person-victim to begin to change. Naturally, after this period, you should not give up the practice. And pretty soon you will feel how your type of behavior changes, sacrifice goes away, you begin to communicate with people on an equal footing.
If you cannot get rid of the victim's syndrome on your own, see your doctor. This means that the reasons lie deeper and only a professional can get to the bottom of them.
