Envy is a hard feeling that deprives a person of the opportunity to build life according to his own scenario. Getting rid of envy is very difficult. You can deceive yourself by driving aggression into the holy of holies - into your own soul. But what if you use the energy that goes into envy for peaceful constructive purposes? To direct all envy-related aspirations for your own good?
This unbearable black envy
Envy is a threat to the one who is envied, but woe to the one who experiences this difficult and painful feeling. A person who is jealous is upset at the slightest sign that someone is doing better than they are. Someone is smarter, someone is more beautiful, someone has more wealth in the family, someone has a good friendly family, and someone has achieved success in the professional field or made a career … Envy always chooses something good for himself, but - someone else's. An envious person deprives himself of the opportunity to rejoice. Someone else's happiness causes painful irritation and hatred in him. An envious person is just waiting for, when, finally, it will be possible to gloat at someone's bad luck, to rejoice at someone else's mistake, which will be inflated to impossible sizes, or a stupid illogical act, a quarrel between lovers, the collapse of someone else's career and ordinary human grief. Neglected envy is a desire for evil and a desire for dirty intrigues and gossip, a dream to destroy what causes inner suffering in an envious person. Sometimes this black feeling pushes a person to meanness, betrayal, a crime against conscience. Thus, the envious lays "time bombs" in his own life and psyche. It's no secret that bad wishes come back to us in the form of bad consequences. Whether we like it or not, the universe returns us both good and evil, increasing it several times.
There is also a downside to the coin: an envious person devotes his thoughts to other people's lives and does not take care of himself, does not create, and sometimes even destroys his own life. Jealous people are losers because they feel like failures and treat themselves like failures. In the words of the envious person there is not only anger, bile, exaggeration of other people's shortcomings, but also his own internal constant pain from the fact that life, in the opinion of a person devoured by envy, has not given him something.
How to deal with this ailment?
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Bring it on! This will boost your self-esteem. An inferiority complex is the main flaw in an envious person. You should thoroughly understand yourself, understand what is missing for complete happiness. And turn envy to your advantage. Make an effort and change your life for the better. Someone knows a foreign language and got a good job. And who is stopping you from doing the same? Someone got married successfully. Why not stop looking out for others and take care of yourself seriously - tidy yourself up inside and out, and start looking for the right partner?
- Stop evaluating other people. There is no need to divide life into black and white. Life is much more difficult! Envious of someone, you see only what you are "shown", but you cannot see the other side. Your friend has a handsome charming husband? But you are not aware of how she cries into the pillow at night, knowing about his cheating and flirting on the side. Someone has a good job and a high salary, but you do not suspect that due to nerves and overexertion, this person has long lost a healthy sleep and developed impotence, which his smiling wife will not tell you about. Remember: everyone has their own happiness. And everyone has their own grief, most often hidden from prying eyes.
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Stop reacting to other people's bragging rights. Bragging is usually inherent in people who are not entirely confident in themselves, suffering from a sense of insignificance. They try to fill their own worth in order to hide their fears and feelings of oppression by a lack of attention from others. And you take it at face value.
- Analyze who you are jealous of. Try to understand what exactly causes the envy. They say that your social value is not higher than that of your rival, whom you envy. Try to ignore the little things. Choose a higher plank. Envy Marilyn Monroe! Try to become the same charming, feminine. Envy Schwarzenegger! At the end of the day, finding time to visit gyms is not as difficult as it sounds. And in the end, even if your body does not become as powerful, your rating will noticeably increase in the eyes of those around you.
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Develop in yourself the ability to thank life, parents, loved ones, God, finally, for small and big joys, for everything that happens to you. Gratitude is a serious counterbalance to envy, which implies hidden and explicit claims to the world around and people. Have you made a mistake? Great, but you learned how to get around these pitfalls. With each step you gain experience, you become smarter, clearer, deeper. Work on yourself. And envy will recede from you, giving way to self-esteem, success and a positive outlook on the world.
- Get rid of the useless habit of comparing yourself to others. They have their own life, you have it no less inimitable and unique. It is worth understanding once and for all: you will never become what the people you envy are. This is their place. It is necessary to become not like someone, but the best, one of a kind. Show in yourself such qualities that are inherent in you, polish your strongest sides, abilities and inclinations.
- And most importantly: don't forget that you are unique! You should not chase other people's feelings, success and social status. Life has a place prepared for you just as well. The main thing is to be ready for it, to be worthy of this place, in order to feel in your place easily and freely, naturally. And for this you need not so much: to be yourself, to look for support, the components of life success and creativity are in yourself. After all, as the unforgettable Oscar Wilde said: "Be yourself, the rest of the roles are already taken."
