Psychologists are sure that in the topic of sexual education of children it is impossible to say: "This is right, and so is not." Each family has its own sexuality, its own traditions, established norms. You just need to know that there is a norm in order to build on it.
One of the first questions "about this" often sounds: "Where did I come from?" There are several rules that should be followed when communicating with your child about this topic:
1. Always answer only the truth. No storks, no cabbage, and no shopping for children. There is no such age at which it is "early" for a child to know the truth.
2. The truth must be appropriate for the child's age. A three-year-old does not need to know that mom has ovulated and dad has sperm.
3. We answer the question that we received. There is no need, having heard “where did I come from?”, Immediately tell the child all about sex life. Suffice it to say something like: “Your mother gave birth to you. When you were very little, you lived in your mother’s tummy, and then, when you became big, your mother went to a special hospital and gave birth to you.”
The main thing that the child should take out of each such conversation is the belief that it is safe to communicate about it, you are always ready to answer and you can be approached with any questions over and over again. Let your child's brain work and work on the following questions on its own.
Sooner or later, the child will come and ask: "How did I get in my mother's tummy?" You can answer it: “For a child to be formed, a mom and a dad are needed. Mom and Dad have such special cells, seeds, and when mom's cage merged with daddy's, you appeared. " And only the question "How daddy's cell gets to mom?" makes you talk about sex.
A preschool child does not require unnecessary details in this case. You can say, “Mom and Dad love each other very much and wanted to give birth to a little boy or girl. For this, adults make love. This means that they can kiss and hug tightly, and the male genital organ (it is scientifically called "penis") enters this special hole in women (called the "vagina"), and then the cells of the future mom and dad are connected ".
It is not so important what you call this process - "making love", "having sex" or "being friends." It is important that the child hears that he is desired and loved, that his parents really, really wanted him to be born, and also important! - only adults can make love and have children.
Do you really need to "call a spade a spade"? Western experts on sex education generally argue that even a small child should know the correct naming of body parts, including the genitals. On the one hand, this is true - by avoiding euphemisms, we make the topic of sexuality less taboo, at least on the scale of an individual family. It is also important to remember that if a child is faced with sexual abuse, she must have words to explain what happened to him and complain to an adult she trusts. On the other hand, compromises are possible. A convenient and useful euphemism is "intimate parts of the body." Reminding your child about intimacy will not be superfluous.
Nowadays there are many books - with beautiful illustrations, with a logical and accessible presentation of material on this topic. Life around you also provides many reasons for conversation - for example, if you have a pregnant girlfriend or relative. Generalize if you are embarrassed to talk about yourself: "All women / men are arranged in such a way that …".
Expose boundaries - this will teach the child to respect them and subsequently - to expose their own. Explain to your child that private organs are special and important. Strangers should not see or touch them. Only mom / dad, when he helps to wash, or the doctor, if the parents allowed.
Sexual abuse and safety is a topic that a child will never ask about himself. A kid living in a prosperous family simply cannot imagine something like this. And children who are at risk or victims of violence usually do not talk about it. Therefore, it is a matter of safety and intimacy - always must be violated by adults. From what age? Since then, the child can be left alone with someone other than you. Mom went to work and hired a nanny. The child went to the kindergarten, to the section, stayed with family friends or went to the camp.
