Many people know the desire: you want to eat and at the same time you want to lose weight. What to do? We analyze mutually exclusive desires.
Remember once and for all: if you feel two mutually exclusive desires at the same time (eat and lose weight, earn a lot and lie on the couch, go to work and lie in bed, etc.), then only one desire is your own and your present. The second is artificial, which does not "want" at all, but "must". And this is completely different.
In the example "I want to eat" - own desire, basic, natural, real. “I want to lose weight” - if you unwind the chain, it means: I want to correct my figure in order to be more attractive, to produce an effect, to attract attention. Become a "wow" to be loved and wanted. Naturally, very few people explain it so-so. But in fact this is the case.
Unfortunately, people spend most of their time and energy on “overcoming themselves”, on “forcing themselves”, on willpower, pushing aside their real desires and replacing them with “must,” thus turning into neurotics.
A neurotic is a person who cannot become happy, because he experiences two mutually exclusive desires at the same time and, having satisfied one, remains unhappy, because the second cannot be satisfied.
"I want to eat and lose weight." Let's take the first part of desire: after having eaten tasty food, a person begins to reproach himself for having “gorged himself”. Because at the same moment in time he wants to eat, and not eat, to lose weight; one desire is fulfilled, the second is naturally not fulfilled, frustration and adored self-flagellation sets in.
Let's take the second part of desire: when a person loses weight, he dreams of eating. Because at the same time, he wants to not eat, lose weight, and eat deliciously. One desire is fulfilled, the second is not naturally fulfilled, an adored, sweet self-flagellation ensues.
The neurotic experiences two mutually exclusive desires, one of which is real, present, natural; and the second is artificial, not real. The neurotic does not share these desires, he identifies himself with both.
“What should I do ?!”, you ask. When you want to eat, you have to eat. Do you think fitness models are starving themselves? Read interviews with them, they are always asked what they eat and the list is decent. Better work on your menu and the contents of the refrigerator. But starving yourself is folly.
Ask yourself more often and answer as honestly as possible: "Why do I need this?" If you want a lot of money and at the same time you are still lazy - figure out why you need a lot of money, why do you think that you should want a lot of money, where does this desire come from in your head (most likely, not yours, since you are tempted to lie down on the sofa).
Take your weaknesses calmly. If, after taking an honest inventory of your desires, it seems to you that you are a selfish, lazy and gluttonous worthless thing, do not add self-flagellation and remorse to this list. Conscience will not help you here or anywhere else. Calmly, evenly and without drama, accept your own limited desires and your own limited claims (ambitions), and if you like eating and lying on the couch more, you deserve respect simply for earning your own food and couch, so at least do it will be my pleasure.
In life, everything is easier if you get rid of neuroses. It does not work out on your own - contact a specialist.
