There are conflicting feelings in the soul of every person. If it were not for them, there would be no such professions as a psychologist or a conflictologist. It is not surprising that sometimes people fall in love with the antipodes of their ideal. In this case, love and hate "in one bottle" are practically guaranteed.
Instructions
Step 1
In psychology, there is a special term for those who manage to love and hate at the same time: ambivalent feelings. These are dual experiences in relation to someone, when fear and pity, love and hate, disgust and attraction are combined into one complex “cocktail of emotions”.
Step 2
Dual feelings can be temporary. In situations of stress or uncertainty in any area of life, the level of anxiety increases. This quality makes a person "get stuck" in his choice, even over trifles. At such moments, it can be difficult not only to determine the feeling for a particular person, but also to choose yogurt in the store. Adequate rest and analysis of the problems that lead to background anxiety helps to get rid of this scourge.
Step 3
Love and hate can arise periodically from partner to partner. In this case, we can assume that the person has conflicting ideas about the ideal soul mate. For some people, the mixture of love and hate invigorates, makes the sensations more acute. Therefore, they love, for example, to find the "bad guys" and try to transform them into good ones. Complex interactions, conflicts and reconciliation give a special meaning to such an unusual love. In addition to reasons for pleasant emotions, reasons for hatred are also provoked. But if you want to get rid of such passions, you need to decide on a list of mandatory qualities for a future partner, understand which of them are mutually exclusive, and make a choice towards those "poles" that are more important.
Step 4
The ambivalence of feelings is always present in some people. It can manifest itself not only in a mixture of love and hate for a soul mate, parents or child. But also in relation to inanimate objects and situations. In this case, it makes sense to check for neurosis. The fact is that the constantly existing duality of experience is sometimes characteristic of neurotics, and this is a minor mental disorder that should be eliminated. Otherwise, it can lead to serious consequences for human health. But one should not rush to diagnose oneself: the constantly existing duality of emotions is not always a sign of psychological distress.
Step 5
The contradictory ideals of a loved one can lead to a chronic combination of love and hatred for the other half. Sigmund Freud divided ideals into primary and secondary fixations. He called fixation a list of essential qualities of an ideal lover. He was able to prove that a person has two stages in development, when he becomes especially sensitive to the formation of ideals. The first stage covers the age from 3 to 5 years, usually the parent of the opposite sex becomes the standard of the beloved in this period. The list of qualities of this person forms the "primary fixation". The second stage, when secondary fixation is created, occurs during adolescence. Usually the person with whom the image of the ideal number two is "molded" is the first love. Most often, both ideals duplicate each other both externally and in psychological qualities. If this does not happen and a duality of ideals arises, it is considered a normal manifestation of the psyche, but it leads to the fact that love without a certain amount of hatred in a person's life almost never arises.
