Striving for excellence is the driving force that prompts a person to reach new heights and change for the better. Psychologists use the term perfectionism to refer to an obsessive desire to get the best possible result. And it is advisable to get rid of this form of self-improvement.
The emergence of perfectionism and its danger
Perfectionism, like many other problems, has its roots in childhood. A child can inherit an irrepressible striving for excellence from one of the parents. Moreover, most often the older child becomes a perfectionist, to whom the parents made excessive demands, and he was heavily responsible for the younger members of the family.
The baby also acquires perfectionism, at the expense of which parents are trying to realize their ambitions and unfulfilled dreams. Very often, such a child studies at a music school, not because he has abilities, but because his mother dreamed of becoming a musician as a child.
Striving for the best is a natural evolutionary process. In cases where perfectionism begins to develop into a pathological form, a person develops a neurotic state, he fixates on achieving the impossible, and not always the necessary perfection.
Excellent student syndrome is another name for this phenomenon. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for a poor grade to force a perfectionist student to try to commit suicide.
Signs of perfectionism and how to get rid of it
Among the signs of pathological perfectionism are increased demands on oneself and others, a strong sense of guilt in failures, the desire to punish oneself for imaginary mistakes, pedantry and scrupulousness, the formation of unattainable standards, self-doubt and fixation on one's mistakes. If you notice these signs in yourself, you need to get rid of perfectionism.
To recover from perfectionism, first you need to admit your fears to yourself and understand that there is nothing wrong with your flaws. Did you make a mistake in the report? But you are unlikely to be fired for this. Came to work in a rumpled blouse? So what, no one cares about this. The main mistake of perfectionists is that, seeing their even the smallest missteps, they believe that others see them too. But this is not at all the case - almost everyone is focused only on themselves and their loved ones.
Write down all your accomplishments and your best qualities. And if you suddenly have thoughts about your worthlessness, take out these notes and remember your victories. Stop comparing yourself to others - everyone has their positive and negative sides, there are no ideal people.
Try to realize that it is not worth spending a lot of energy to achieve the perfect result. Set realistic goals for yourself, separate important areas of life from secondary ones, where it is not worth fighting for the best result. Learn to delegate authority - others may not do the job as well as you do, but you can avoid being overwhelmed.
Learn to rest and relax. The main danger for the perfectionist in the race for the best result is overexertion. Give your body a rest - abstract from problems, relax. In a stressful situation, do breathing exercises - breathe deeply and slowly. This will help you find balance and calmness.
Give yourself the right to imperfections and mistakes. “The best is the enemy of the good” - remember this folk wisdom.
