Buy this dress or something? Take a new car on credit or a used one on your own? Mortgage now, children later, or vice versa? All these are very difficult life choices, on which our fate often depends. How not to make a mistake, or at least reduce the percentage of errors to a minimum? There are many ways to do this, all of them are good in their own way. But even if you take and apply only one of these methods, the choice will become much easier.
When we find ourselves in, we face a full-length, it seems, an extremely difficult task. And if we like both options and look quite workable, the task becomes almost impossible. From childhood to the end of life, every day we solve and solve this problem, and life itself often depends on our decisions: its quality, fullness, well-being.
- To pair up with Seryozhka on a kindergarten walk or with Natasha?
- Should I tell my parents about the deuce or correct it first and then tell it? Or not to speak at all?
- Give an eighth-grader Sveta a chocolate or a flower (there won't be enough money for both)?
- To enter the university or not to enter? In which? This specialty or that?
- Marry or wait? To marry him or to live like that?
- Call the child Ivan or Stepanida?
- Retire right away or wait until asked?
The cloud of questions grows and multiplies over the course of life, requires mental energy, emotional strength, can drive stress and depression. Why? On the one hand, taking responsibility is scary, fraught with consequences, and generally unusual for many. On the other hand, a brave and responsible person from all sides may simply not know how to make a decision: how to do it competently, in accordance with their goals.
We will talk about the fear of responsibility next time, but right now we can study the process of making a decision, tame it and put it at the service of our interests. This process follows certain rules and can be broken down into a few simple steps.
1st stage
Collection of information. The task is to type (invent, find on the Internet, eavesdrop on the subway or on the radio) as many possible solutions as possible. We also take the impossible and write everything down: private variants, global, real, unreal, and even those that are usually called “complete nonsense”. At the stage of the general collection, you cannot leave a crumb, everything to yourself. And it's better to write it down.
2nd stage
This stage is also a gathering one, but not for one big problem, but for those options that we typed in the first stage. We do all the same, preferably with a pen in a notebook: we take each of the options, write it down and start looking for ways and solutions already for it with the planned nature of the combine. As fully as possible, the degree of confidence with which we will accept or reject ways to solve the problem depends on it. At this stage, some of the options may already be rejected.
3rd stage
Study of information. We investigate each described chance and try to answer the question: "Can I implement this option now or not?" We write it down.
4th stage
Determination of compliance. We consider each of the possible solutions for compliance with our life principles, moral and ethical standards and goals. This is very important, since the most wonderful way of solving it can turn out to be the most terrible in terms of our values and the norms that we adhere to in society. Anything that does not correspond is mercilessly deleted.
5th stage
Action plans. We now have a list of options for solutions that we can use without harm to ourselves and that correspond to our current capabilities and desires. The time has come to develop a specific action plan and identify those factors that will facilitate or, on the contrary, hinder the decision on this option.
6th stage
Formulation of a specific plan. A very important stage! Only in the presence of a clear plan for the implementation of new opportunities, in the presence of promising goals, our development moves forward and does not stop, does not stagnate. Therefore, we must solve private, local problems in the mainstream of this perspective, and these solutions must not impede development. If the decision is found correctly, if it is truly ours, it will never lead to a dead end (although it may turn out to be erroneous or incapable in the future to become the foundation for the next decisions, this must also always be kept in mind; we act even according to the plan, but still based on the currently available event horizon, we cannot predict the future).
